Struggle from within
by KrazyTigger
Summary: Bella and Alice Swan have lived in Forks since they were little, with their group of friends, Edward and Emmett Cullen and Rosalie and Jasper Hale. But when the Hale's leave town Bella knows something is up. Bella's POV
1. An Introduction

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or in fact any of the characters in Twilight.**

**Warning: There could be some violence in the furture and bad language, so I'm going to rate this T. Just warning you!**

Bella's POV

An Introduction ...

I was just 16 years old when I realised that things were going to change, for the worst as it seemed at the time. Being as naive as I was at the time I thought my life couldn't get any better. I had the two best friends that any girl could wish for; I'd grown up with them from the age of four and a sister who always took care of me. As well as a father who did everything he could to support us. Four had been the age I was when me and my sister, Alice, lost our mother Renee. We were taken off to live with our father, in a little rainy place called Forks. Alice had been reluctant to go, saying that she was going to hate it. For five years old she had had some pretty good opinions and she had always been mature for her age, even if she didn't act it some times.

So we moved in with Police Chief, Charlie Swan in the little town of Forks. It didn't take long to settle in, though I remember crying late at night sometimes as the rain poured down our window upsetting me even more. Alice had comforted me then, making me go into her bed and cuddle up with her. She swore she didn't cry when we were cuddled up like that, but I knew different.

When we had been there barely a week, there was a knock at the door while we were sat around the kitchen table eating breakfast. Charlie got up to answer it leaving me and Alice alone with food, not a good idea. Alice was soon flicking cereal at me with her spoon and I was retaliating by flicking toast at her, we were both giggling like the little girls that we were. That was when we heard voices approaching the kitchen. We were acting normal and munching away just as Charlie and another tall man entered the kitchen. Me and Alice glanced at one another frowning a little, but said nothing. "And you're sure she doesn't mind?" Charlie asked the man who was studying the pair of us carefully, he grinned.

"No of course she doesn't. She has my two running around all day as well as her own two. She'll love having two more around. I think she needs some more girls, the boys are a little troublesome. Plus you know Esme Hale." The man grinned again looking at me now; I was quick to look away, blushing a bright red, as always.

"I will have to thank her for this," Charlie grinned turning to us now; I was still studying my toast so I didn't catch the man's eye again. "Girls go and get your coats please," Charlie instructed and we were both soon on our feet heading into the hallway to retrieve them.

"Whose he?" I asked Alice in a whisper, she looked at me evilly with a small shrug. I knew that she knew and she was about to tell me something horrible. I turned away not wanting to listen.

"Carlisle Cullen," Alice whispered after a few moments of silence. "He's a doctor. He cuts people open and take their insides out." I put my hands over my ears, but she came close to my ear now. "And if you're naughty he makes you eat them."

By the time Carlisle had joined us in the hall I was a shivering wreck looking at the floor in horror and surprise. Alice could be so cruel sometimes. I should have known not to listen to her and go with what my instinct said and that was that whoever Carlisle Cullen was he was a very nice person, he seemed it at least. Charlie ruffled our hair as a goodbye as Carlisle led us to his rusty old car that was parked behind Charlie's cruiser. To my surprise sat in the front was a child no older than Alice and in the back one who was about my age. I later found out these two were Emmett and Edward Cullen, Carlisle's sons. They too had lost their mother.

Edward began talking to us as soon as we climbed into the car, Alice talked back, and I stayed silent. Emmett in front added his input every now and then and Alice tried to get me involved, but to be honest she was quite happy talking away without me. Edward was quite an excitable person at times, but then sometimes he sat in silence while Alice talked and had a deep look on his face. Emmett of the other hand was big for his age, but it was all muscle and he was a lot less the thinking type. Soon we arrived at another new place and everyone climbed out, including me though I hesitated. Carlisle lead us up the paved pathway to a red door and walked straight in, Edward and Alice followed him, still chatting away, Emmett after them then me.

A woman stood waiting for us, she was very pretty and she seemed cheerful enough, smiling at me warmly, but I bowed my head and looked at the floor once again. "She's shy," Carlisle explained and the woman nodded still smiling at me as I peeked up at her. Edward had disappeared by this point and Emmett was heading into the kitchen. Alice stayed loyally by my side as Carlisle thanked the woman and left with a smile to us. "Be good," were his last words.

"Now girls, no need to be worried," The woman smiled at us warmly, I guessed this was Esme Hale. She was very motherly woman, and I could have run over and hugged her, if I wasn't so terrified. "Emmett don't you dare!" She called to the kitchen, Emmett groaned just as there was a thud from upstairs. "Jasper! Edward! Down now!"

After a few moments Edward descended with another new boy. He looked quite thoughtful and shy as he smiled sheepishly at me. I watched, losing all my fear now. After all they were just kids. After them glided a girl of Alice's age, but she looked much older than Alice, who was a pixie, even I was taller than her. She flicked her hair over her shoulder, leaning against the banister of the stairs and watching us carefully a slight glare in her eyes. "Rosalie, Jasper, this is Alice and Bella Swan. They're here to stay while Charlie is at work."

And so that is how we all met. Of course the Hales already knew the Cullens and it was just us who didn't know everyone. After that we went there every day until we started school. Well Alice, Rose and Emmett started a year before us, and then the next year we started. We went through school together; facing everything that life threw at us. Me, Edward and Jasper became firm friends and went everywhere together. It was our little trio. They took care of me as we went through school, but sometimes it was them who needed taking care of. Naturally, them being boys, they got into a few fights and it was me left clearing everything up and cleaning them up.

And when I was hit by a car when I was 14, it was Jasper and Edward who never left my bedside while I was in hospital. So it was only a broken foot, but they were there for me. And every school has it bullies, but when I was called 'slut' and 'slapper' by the boys in the grade above us, it was surprisingly quiet Jasper who flipped out and ended up punching them several times in the face. He'd been suspended for that, five days. He didn't really care; he had said it was worth it. I had learnt to ignore the comments, not possibly seeing how it could have been true, I had only ever been on one date and that had been with a boy called Mike Newton. Plus it had only been because I had felt sorry for him. After that date he soon hooked up with another girl I knew, Angela, maybe after seeing I was a lost cause.

Rose, Emmett and Alice hung around with each other more than they hung around with us when we were growing up, but then suddenly we all became closer and it was the six of us. But even still they only hung with us after school, at weekends and occasionally in school. We generally all sat together at lunch, but sometimes Rose would flit off to be with other friends and Emmett was usually at some sport practice whereas Alice had taken up dance, much to our pleasure and Charlie's disgust. We enjoyed teasing her about it whenever we could.

When we were around 15 Alice and Edward began to date and so did Emmett and Rosalie. That left me and Jasper, but we were too firm friends to start dating. Everything was going fine, sure we got into trouble a few times doing some things we shouldn't have, but every teen does.

Then came the day when everything changed and the Hales left town. It broke my heart because they didn't even say goodbye, they just left. We discovered it when we went to get Jasper to go to the cinema; it was all three of us, me, Alice, and Edward. Alice had come because Edward was going otherwise she wouldn't have bothered. She was missing dance practise to be with him, not that she really cared. But when we got there the house was empty and everything was gone.

I was heartbroken that Jasper hadn't come and said goodbye and Esme as well, Edward too was very upset. Emmett was the worst. Rose hadn't even thought to let him know they were moving, let alone say goodbye. But why would they? It didn't seem like the Hales at all. Something was wrong, I knew it. Charlie had merely said that they had had trouble with some relatives and were forced to leave without saying goodbye. It still didn't seem right. Jasper would have called me, and Rose would have called Emmett without a doubt.

It's been two years now and we've all grown up. Alice and Edward are still together and Emmett hasn't dated anyone since Rosalie left. I think he's secretly hoping she'll return for him. All four of us go to the same college now and at 18, nearly 19 it is coming up to three years since they left. Though even now we can't believe they would have just left without a single goodbye to us. Jasper wasn't like that. He was my best friend and Esme was like my second mother. Why would they leave us like that? With no warning, nothing...

To be continued...


	2. Returning Home

"We're home Cha-Dad!" Alice called as soon as we got in the door. I gave a little sigh as she almost called Charlie, but quickly smothered it by adding dad. Neither of us called Charlie dad when we were around the others, we never had, it had always just been Charlie. Except for when we were around him, then it was dad. Alice and I were in Forks for a weeks break from college, Edward and I had been there one semester already and it had dragged by.

Every day I wondered what it would have been like, had Jasper attended college with us. But I was quick to dispel the thoughts as it just upset me even more. And just recently I had been more emotional than ever, I didn't need that tipping me over.

"Hello!" Charlie called from the kitchen as Alice and I placed our small bags in the hallway and headed into the kitchen. Alice trotted over to Charlie and hugged him, which he returned limply. I, on the other hand, slipped into one of the kitchen chairs and nodded to him, receiving a smile in return. Alice instantly started telling him about what she had been up to and Charlie just nodded in the right places, adding a 'yeah' or an 'ah' every now and then. I smiled to myself slightly as I listened in, gradually my smile became wider and wider as Alice added some of them more gory details to her story, like what she had been eating and things like that.

When she was finally done she set about making dinner, like always and I helped her, again as always. Charlie sat and watched us for a little while as he was strictly forbidden to cook in the kitchen while we were at home. Alice carefully passed me three plates and told me to set them out so she could serve on them. "You know, the Hales are back in town." SMASH! I had dropped the plates when Charlie had spoken. "Bella!" He exclaimed moving me out of the way so I was away from the broken china. Frozen still I was unable to move at all, my eyes wide, my heart had completely stopped. Jasper was back in town! The Hales were home!? How could that have been?

Alice too had frozen in complete shock, recovering quicker than I did; she was at my side in an instant. "Bella, it's alright." She whispered carefully wrapping an arm around me and encouraging me to breath. Eventually I managed it, taking a deep breath and staring blankly as Alice, who looked more than a little worried. Behind me Charlie cleared away the china, seeing the mistake he had made in mentioning it that casually to me of all people. Before I knew what was happening everything was black and the last thing I heard was Alice's exclaimed cry of "Bella!"

"She's been depressed recently, more than ever. I didn't think it was anything really. She just had a bad few days. I guess this just surprised her a little more than I would have thought." Alice was whispering when I finally regain consciousness, though I didn't open my eyes at all. "Edward has been trying to cheer her up for weeks, but she's just put her head down and carried on with her work, having no fun." Had I been that bad? I hadn't noticed, I'd thought that I had just seemed down to myself, not to the others as well.

"Is this all because of the Hales?" I heard Charlie whisper in reply, both of them were frightened to talk too loudly in case it waked me. Alice didn't answer, so I knew it was time to open my eyes and face them, but I just couldn't.

"She has to go and see them in order to find out what happened. Maybe then she'll understand," Alice whispered suddenly breaking the silence. I nearly screamed then. Was she actually insane?! I was going nowhere near the Hales, not if anyone paid me any amount of money. They had left us with no warning and Alice expected me just to go an visit them and play happy friends again, I thought not. My sister was the closest person to me, other than Edward, but sometimes she had ludicrous ideas. Knowing I should really force my eyes open now, I made a groaning sound as if I was waking from a deep sleep. I'd never been good at acting, but I was quite pleased with the way that turned out, it fooled Charlie at least.

"Bells!" Charlie whispered in a clearly relieved voice as I opened my eyes and smiled weakly at him, sitting instantly. My head whirled and I had to steady myself a little closing my eyes quickly.

Just then the phone rung, even that hurt my head a little. I stayed still with my eyes clamped firmly shut and listened to Alice get up and trot over to the phone. She picked it up on the third or fourth ring. "Hello? Yes she's here." There was a pause as Alice listened. "No, she's in no fit state to talk. Seriously! I'm not joking Edward. You are no-!" Edward! He was sane; he would understand this and feel the same way. Alice was cut off by me holding out my hand for the phone. With a small sigh into the phone she muttered. "Here," and handed it to me.

"Edward?" I whispered into the phone my eyes still closed as I tried to stop my head from spinning wildly. "Have you heard?" I knew the answer before he said it, before I'd even asked him the question.

"Yeah Bell I have," was his whispered reply down the phone. I opened my eyes carefully and took a deep breath as Edward spoke again. "We have to go and see them; it's the only way to find out what happened." Ok, so I was wrong about Edward being the same one, he was just as insane as Alice.

"No way!" I literally screamed down the phone, making Charlie and Alice jump beside me. I held the phone tightly, as though I was trying to break it. "I am not going anywhere near him or them! If they want to leave without warning and not tell us, then so be it. Why should we be there for them when they get back?!" I fumed down the phone to Edward who was silent.

"He's one of your best friends," Edward managed to whisper when I had finished my shouting and had taken a breath. I closed my eyes again taking another deep breath as I readied myself for my next answer.

"Was one of my best friends. Was." I whispered slamming the phone down and getting up now. I brushed passed Alice who had been leant against the couch and stormed up the stairs, slamming my bedroom door when I entered. I threw myself on the bed, head in the pillow as the phone rung downstairs again. No doubt it was Edward.


	3. Oh So Real Nightmares

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or in fact any of the characters in Twilight.**

**Warning: There could be some violence in the furture and bad language, so I'm going to rate this T. Just warning you!**

**Author's note: They're boring I know...But I would like everyone to review this is possible. I have written the first three chapters without worrying about reviews, but I don't see the point in continuing writing them if I'm not getting any reviews. Also, I would just like to thank those people who have reviewed and have suscribed as well. Very grateful to you all =]**

**Now enjoy, still in Bella's POV, and it should always be, but I'll let you know if it changes.**

I must have fallen asleep after that, because I remember vaguely Alice creeping into my room to close the curtains and pull a blanket over me, I didn't open my eyes at all. She stood watching me for a few moments; I knew that because I didn't hear the door close as she left. But even then I couldn't bring myself to open my eyes. I really wasn't up for a battle with her; she would just lecture me about the whole thing and I didn't need that. With a small sigh she left the room, closing the door carefully behind her, so not to wake me, not that I was asleep in the first place.

After that I fell into a fairly uneasy sleep, only to be woken by a horrific dream, to me at least. I had been standing in a field; Jasper had been at my side, just me and him. But then he started to move away from me, just walk away, to leave me for good without a single word. I don't know how I knew he wasn't coming back if he left, I just did. Desperately I tried to follow him, but I was unable to move, I was stuck there and going nowhere fast. I cried out as I struggled to move, cried out to Jasper as my heart shattered once again, just like before. But Jasper kept walking on, ignoring me completely, and distancing himself from me.

With a wild gasp I sat up in my bed, taking as many deep breaths as I could. I felt like I was going to throw up whatever my stomach had in it, which wasn't much to be honest. Once I had steadied myself I began to think about the dream. What had that been all about? Why did I feel that strongly about the whole thing? I mean Jasper and I had been close at one time, but surely hearing that he had come home shouldn't have given me nightmares. I should have been happy like the others seemed to be, but no, instead I was having vivid nightmares. Maybe I was looking at it all wrong. Maybe I thought that he would leave again and deep down I knew if he left this time it would be for good. He had done it once, him and his family, they could do it again. And I had to stop thinking of it as his entire fault too; it was all three of them that were to blame, in my mind at least.

After what seemed like an age I got up to wash and dress. I did this slowly as I knew it was early and I really didn't want to bump into Charlie. So quickly I crossed to the bathroom and slipped inside, going over to the sink and washing my face and teeth before looking at myself in the mirror. I looked paler than normal I noticed and looked away before my reflection frightened me more than ever. Once I was dressed, I lingered in my room as I heard Charlie's cruiser leave the driveway, but still I stayed in my room sitting on my bed staring into space.

I heard another car on the driveway soon after Charlie's had pulled away, frowning to myself, I got up and left my room, standing at the top of the stairs, listening in as Alice opened the door. "Oh hello!" She greeted in a warm yet worried voice. There was a pause as she stepped aside and let them in. It was clear who it was, there was only one person she greeted in that tone and that was Edward. With a deep breath I set off down the stairs, I had to face everyone sooner or later.

"Bella," Alice greeted with a strained smile to me as I entered the kitchen and nodded to everyone, going over to the fridge. Well that gave everything way straight away, or almost everything. Alice was a good liar, but when she was worried it showed and I knew she was worried then, really worried. She, Edward and Emmett had been talking around the table before I had entered, but now they were silent.  
"Don't stop talking on my account," I muttered skimming the fridge to look for some suitable food to stable my stomach. I heard Alice mutter something to Edward and he muttered something furiously back. There was a clear 'ouch' as Alice obviously hit him.

"Bell, we're going to see the Hales today," Edward told me boldly as I pulled my head out of the fridge, a cereal bar in my hand. I raised an eyebrow and sat myself on the worktop, not looking at any of them.  
"That's nice for you." Was all I could manage to mutter as I munched away, yet it made me feel worse than before. Why did that always happen? I set it on the side and pretended to inspect the toaster so I wouldn't have to look at them all. "Charlie should really repl-"

"You're coming with us," Alice suddenly said fiercely as it was clear Edward had failed her and she needed to butt in. I was silent for a few moments before looking up to glare at her angrily; she seemed to shrink under the fierceness of my glare.  
"I am going nowhere near them!" I growled jumping off the worktop and throwing my cereal bar in the bin before turning back to them. "And you can't make me! No-one can!"

Alice glanced at Emmett, who got to his feet with a small sigh. "I'm sorry Bella, really sorry." He whispered looking at me with an apologetic look. I frowned, not getting what he meant, not yet anyway.  
"Sorry for what?" I asked as he stepped towards me, grabbing my arm. I saw what was about to happen before it did. I tried to pull away, but Emmett was much bigger and far stronger than me.  
"Don't. You. Dare!" I warned him furiously as I struggled, but he merely picked me up and slung me over his shoulder, holding me firmly there and heading for the front door. Alice and Edward followed as I fought against him uselessly. "I _HATE _you all! I am _NEVER _forgiving you!_ EVER!" _Edward winced at my words, clearly he didn't want any part in this, but he was letting Alice get her way, so he was just as much to blame for this.

"I'm sorry Bella," Alice whispered as she locked the door and Emmett strode over to his car putting me in the back and strapping me in firmly. By the time I had undone the belt he had firmly shut the door, that wasn't going to stop me. I pulled on the handle to escape, but it wouldn't budge. I threw my weight against it, but still it stayed shut. Emmett had put the child lock on! I looked at them appalled; they really had thought this through thoroughly.

Alice climbed in the back with me, alone. Ok so Edward didn't want to be sat with his mad best friend when she was in that mood, I could understand that. Even Alice was being brave to be honest. But then again she would be able to calm me if needed. I slumped in the seat, giving up now and sulking while I looked out of the window. "Off to see our friends then," Emmett said from the front where he started up the car and reversed. Off to hell more like.


	4. Panic On The Inside

My only wish was right then, well no I had two......yeah two. One was that I hoped the three of them died horrible nasty deaths, right at that moment in time. Of course I didn't really want them dead, not deep down at least. And my second wish was for the ground to swallow up my part of the car with me inside of it, which would have made me more than happy.

In the car it was completely silent except from the quiet hum of Emmett's music in the front of the car, but I couldn't really hear that, I couldn't hear anything. Well except my heart that is. That seemed to be thumping pretty madly; I was surprised that everyone couldn't hear it the way it was going. And yet they seemed oblivious to it, maybe it was all in my mind...again.

To my surprise we didn't go just down the road from where Alice and I lived, but instead went for the highway. But as I was sulking I couldn't ask why we were going that way. Alice seemed to sense that I wanted to know so she explained it to me. "Charlie told me yesterday that the Hales have moved to that big old abandoned house off the highway. You know the one that hardly anyone can find the exit to, unless you happened to have Cullen or Swan as surname." She grinned at Edward who had turned round to listen; he returned the grin half heartedly. I knew why they were grinning like that and I almost did myself, but remembering I was in a mood I held it back.

When it was the six of us, we often headed down to that house to mess about and sometimes just hang out. Once we had played truth or dare down there in the dark, of course we had scared ourselves silly and ran for it, laughing about it later. But it had all been great fun, or so I thought. Who would have known that fun would have been short lived?

I just nodded going back to glaring out of the window and Alice sighed desperately looking at Edward for help, but I knew he had turned back around. Eventually she spoke in a careful guarded voice. "Bella, we NEED you with us, more than anything because..."

"You want to put me through hell?" I spat furiously, turning to glare at her, though it melted straight away. Me and Alice hardly ever argued, and seeing her shrink back in complete surprise at my look and tone, upset me. I went to glaring back out of the window again, so it wouldn't be directly aimed at her. With a small sigh she continued, refusing to be wavered even by my bad temper.

"No, it's because if Jasper needs to talk to someone you know it'll be you. He's your best friend." I turned to her, an eyebrow raised as Edward shot her a look. "One of your best friends," she corrected quickly studying me again. I knew she was partly right, Jasper HAD told me everything, but he had told Edward everything as well, or so I believed at least.

"You and I both know that he would tell Edward as well," I whispered a cold and bitter note to my tone. One again I turned away, determined to make them see this was not working and I was not going to co-operate with it. Alice shook her head a little and settled in the seat. The rest of the ride was silent, an eerie, horrible silence, that no-one seemed to want to break.

As soon as Emmett turned off at the right turning, I started to panic, taking deep breaths. Jasper and Rose clearly didn't want to know none of us, so why were we putting ourselves through this? Correction, why were THEY putting THEMSELVES through it and dragging me along as well? I still looked out of the window now, though I wasn't glaring anymore, my face was panicked.

The driveway was over a mile long, I remember that much as we had hiked all the way down it in the middle of the night. Of course it had seemed much longer then because we had been walking and now we were in a car. Though I wished beyond anything the ride would seem longer, that way I could have gathered my thoughts. Emmett drew to a halt in front of the massive white house. It truly was beautiful; I had to admit that even though I was in a mood. It was a faded white, and the windows and doors were magnificent, all the way up the three-storeys. I knew that a little way away was the forest and running through that was the bubbling river (as I had fallen in the bubbling river).

"We're here," Emmett announced, though there was really no need to. Panic really set in now as Emmett and Edward undid their belts and got out. I refused to move, my eyes wide, my heart wasn't thumping anymore, but had clearly stopped. Alice waited for a moment, watching the boys then trying to coax me out of the car. I was going nowhere, not a chance. If Jasper wanted to see me, then he could come and see me in the car, then I might have been convinced that this was real.

With a sigh, Alice left me and headed after the boys, who had just knocked on the door. I watched and waited, holding my breath while biting my bottom lip hard enough to draw blood, or so I thought at least. I had a clear view of the door, so I could see when it opened. But to my surprise and relief, it wasn't one of the Hales who answered, but an older woman with shocking grey hair, pale skin and a beautiful look about her. Even though she appeared to be old she was stunning to look at. Her grey hair was lush and hung around her shoulders, while her eyes were a clear magnificent amber colour, her skin though deathly pale seemed to glow gently underneath the clouds. She spoke very carefully to the others as I watched, taking a deep breath in relief. She seemed to be telling them something very important and every word looked planned, well that's what it looked like from where I was sat.

Then something caught the corner of my eye in one of the windows on the second floor of the house. Biting my lip still I tilted my head to look up properly, taking a sharp intake of breath as I did. It was Esme, but not the Esme I knew. Esme had always been beautiful, but never as beautiful as she was now in the window. She was trying to watch the scene at the door, clearly waiting for them to leave, and seemed oblivious to my presence in the car. Her hair was longer, and a caramel colour, the same colour as her eyes. Her skin too was deathly pale, but at the same time beautiful. If it hadn't been for the motherly look about her I would have never known it was her. Was she ill? No, she looked to pretty to be ill. But why was she so pale? Why had her eyes changed colour? And why were they being so secretive?

Slowly I undid my belt and opened the door, climbing out. This seemed to catch her eye as she turned quickly to look at me. She seemed more than a little surprised as she studied my now grown up face and I studied her new one too. But a roar from Emmett made me look away for Esme for a second. And in that second she disappeared, because when I looked back the window was empty completely.

"SEND HER OUT HERE NOW!" Emmett demanded in a roaring voice as Edward and Alice pulled him away from the door. "ROSE!" He screamed into the open doorway, while the woman rolled her eyes and closed the door with a small click. With a small sigh I went to help the others with Emmett, who we eventually got to the car after much kicking and screaming on his part. Edward thought it was best if he drove back to the house as Emmett seemed incapable of doing so. As we pulled away slowly I glanced back at the windows, but all of them were empty, almost dead-like. I shivered a little, unsure of why.

What was going on!?


	5. Esme Hale

Lying on my bed, I stared at the ceiling after what had been an eventful day. With a small sigh I turned on my side and looked out the window instead. It wasn't supposed to be getting dark yet, but as it was Forks there were clouds in the sky and the rain was falling carelessly, so naturally it was grey and dark outside.

Today had not gone the way the others had wanted it to, not at all. I knew they had wanted the Hales to open the door and welcome them warmly, apologising for all that had happened before. I, on the other hand, could see the truth and I knew that the response we had had was to be expected. Even still, I couldn't get the image of Esme out of my head. That wasn't Esme not the one I knew anyway, it couldn't have been. Maybe she had a sister that looked very similar to her. That had to be it, there was no other option. I let half of my mind settle on that, for now at least, while the other half worried endlessly about it. But why were they acting like that in the first place? That my mind couldn't decide. I could hear Alice, Emmett, Edward and Charlie downstairs talking in low voices; I think they thought I was sleeping again, though I really wasn't.

When we had finally calmed Emmett down in the car we had arrived at our house, he hadn't calmed down for the whole journey, screaming endlessly about Rosalie and the Hales. From there Edward had dashed home to tell Carlisle what had happened, while Alice talked to Emmett in the kitchen in hushed whispers, I knew she was reassuring him and not discussing me. When Edward had returned they had talked for hours about what had happened and how the Hales had completely changed. Not once did I tell them about Esme, I just couldn't, there was no way they were going to know through me.

I got bored of the talk after a while retreating upstairs after lunch and staying there, even when Charlie got home. I just couldn't bring myself to get up even to see my father. So that was how I ended up lying there as still as a statue, thinking about the Hales while they obviously discussed my saneness downstairs. Nice. I was starting to get paranoid and I could see that for myself. I had to stop thinking that way and think a little more positively or I was actually going to go insane.

A little after seven I heard the door go and a car pull away, the guys had left. The door to my room opened them, but no-one crept in like before, they stomped in instead. It was Charlie. He sat on the end of my bed and watched me carefully as I faked sleep. "Poor girl," He whispered pulling the blanket up to my chin. I moved a little in my 'sleep' and he got up to leave, closing the door behind him.

I sat up as soon as I heard it click and glared at it furiously. Why did everyone think this was hurting me? Ok, so it was, but surely it didn't show? Or did it? Even though it was only just gone seven, I settled back in the pillows and fell asleep almost instantly. Who thought someone could sleep quite so much.

Jasper stood in the field again, oh no, not again. But this time he spoke to me, just the once. "We don't want you anymore." He growled his voice was ice cold and harsh. He had changed as well, just like Esme had, the same skin and eyes and hair. What had happened to him? I reached out to touch him, but he jerked away from my hand, smirking at me coldly. He was joined by Rosalie now, who looked more beautiful than ever, then Esme joined him, she was smirking too. I couldn't take it anymore; I let out a furious scream.

I woke from my dream, actually screaming, but no sound was coming out, well it was, but it was muffled. As I focused I could feel someone's hand over my mouth stopping me from screaming. Even more to my surprise the hand was freezing cold, colder than ice and extremely hard. I ripped my eyes open, searching for the person in the dark. I couldn't see anything; my eyes needed time to adjust to the darkness. Quickly I reached over to my bedside lamp, knocking it over in the process, but I found the switch and turned it on.

There stood with her hand over my mouth was Esme. I was shocked into silence as she stood over me; her face looked strained and worried, but still more beautiful than ever. But how had she gotten in? I glanced at the clock, it was the early hours of the morning, and no way would Charlie have let her in. I lay there in complete horror and shock as she removed her hand carefully pressing her finger to her lips.

The Hales had wanted nothing to do with us, and yet here was Esme Hale stood in my room in the middle of the night. It was enough to shock the bravest person. And me being as weak hearted as I was couldn't take it and went into shock. I started to shake a little; Esme seemed to notice and placed a cold hand on my shoulder to calm me, like she always did when I panicked. I shivered at her touch and she yanked her hand away, like she had forgotten she was that cold. "I'm sorry Bella; I didn't mean to scare you." Even her voice had changed, that was enough for me, and I grabbed the bin by the side of my bed and was violently sick into it.

When I had calmed down I straightened up and looked at her fully now, still feeling a little ill. "I'm sorry," She repeated looking thoroughly regretful that she was there in the first place. "But I didn't know what else to do. It's Jasper Bella; he needs you more than ever."

"J-Jasper?" I managed to get out in a whisper, my voice clearly cracking as I said it. I gulped a little, frowning at the bed covers. Jasper needed my help, right then? Jasper and I weren't exactly on speaking terms were we? And Esme was coming to me to help him? I didn't think that was right somehow. Why should I help him when he left us with no warning? I didn't think it seemed right at all; in fact no it wasn't right.  
"He's in trouble," Esme whispered looking like she too might just throw up at any moment as well. I looked up at her, making up my mind the instant my eyes looked into hers. She was worried and it was clear, I had to help them, even if it was just for her. I owed her that much for all that she had done for me when I was growing up.

I was going to help Jasper Hale...


	6. The Truth Is Hard To See

The Hale's house looked even more frightening the dark than it did in the light. It might have been because I couldn't see it fully and the windows looked as blank as ever. Esme pulled the car up outside the house and got out in a smooth motion, much smoother than I would have done at least. I hadn't noticed her undo her belt; I didn't think she was even wearing one in the first place. I hesitated a little before climbing out, a lot less gracefully than Esme had and looked up at the house, remembering the day before and shuddering a little.

I then noticed Rosalie stood in the exact same window as Esme had been the day before, looking exactly the same as she had in my dream, except she was glaring at me nastily, like she suddenly hated me more than anyone in the world. I looked away; hating the look she was giving and followed Esme into the house, up the porch steps.

To my complete surprise Rosalie was stood at the bottom of the stairs, leaning against them, like she had been the first day I had met her. How had she gotten there that fast? Surely it was impossible? Esme glided gracefully to her daughter and whispered something I couldn't hear. I was finding it hard to take all of it in, it was all too much. Why was I even there?!

With a small gasp I turned quickly and ran out the way I had come in with Esme, through the front door. But me being the klutz that I am I tripped at the top of the porch steps, and wasn't able to grab the railing on my way down. I tumbled down the steps, smacking my head against one of them. Then all I could remember was blackness.

"It's alright Bella, you just tripped down the steps," Esme's calm velvet voice whispered to me as I tried to force my eyes open. I managed it as soon as she spoke to me. I was lead on a couch in the middle of what looked like the front room. There was an ice cold pack on my head, or so I thought, seconds later I realized it was Esme's hand. I tried to sit up, only to be forced back down by Esme, quite forcefully as well. After a few moments of silent laying still she let my sit up.

Taking deep breaths, I looked around myself. Esme was sat beside me, her hand resting on the couch now, her other one running through her hair as she looked concerned about me. Rosalie was stood a little way away, no longer glaring, but still looking like she hated me. And then sitting at the dining room table was the woman who had answered the door yesterday, but she was paying no attention to us, but writing something.

"Esme, I need to ta-"Jasper's voice suddenly filled the room and I turned around to look at him for the first time in three years. I took him in while silence dominated the room. He was so different, just like the other two. His blonde hair was lush, his eyes were topaz and his lips a deep red and like the others his skin was pale white. He looked way too handsome to be our Jasper, not that he hadn't been before, but this was a weird sort of handsome. "What is she doing here?" He demanded after a few moments, taking his eyes off me and looking at Esme.

I lost it then, going absolutely furious at what he had said. He was acting like I wasn't human, like I didn't need to be addressed at all. "She has a name," I snapped angrily sitting up fully now to glare at him. He turned slowly to face me once again, his eyes locking onto mine. "And SHE used to be your best friend," I added though it was in a smaller voice.

"Get her out," Jasper whispered dropping his gaze now, before turning to leave. "Before something hurts her." He left then, and quite quickly too. With a small growl I jumped off the couch and went to go after him, but Esme caught my arm.

"Let go!" I growled at her, all the anger that had built up over the past three years bubbling over now as I finally lost control.  
"I can't do that Bella," Esme whispered to me, her tone still calm and soft. How could she be so calm about all of this? It was ridiculously stupid. "It's for the best, just leave him."

"How can I just leave this?" I demanded to know, struggling to be free of her. "How can I? You try having part of your family ripped away from you without warning, then them turning up again and blanking everyone out. Then tell me how you feel. Not to mention the fact that they drag me all the way up to their house to help someone who obviously hates me!"

Esme winced at my words, it was clear they had hurt her, but she carried on regardless, keeping the same soft, calm tone as before. How was she even doing that? "He doesn't hate you; he just wants to make sure you're safe. And when you're here, you're not safe." I frowned at her now, stopping my struggling against her, nonplussed. "And we left for a reason, so we didn't hurt anyone that was close to us!"

"But you did!" I argued back glaring at her now as she looked away at the floor, dropping my wrist. "You hurt all of us, every single person that you touched. Do you know how that feels?" She looked up at me now, looking regretfully, but also like she had something to add to what she had said.

"We had a reason Bella, that's what I want you to understand. That's why I brought you here, to tell you and you alone." Esme whispered stepping towards me now, her new eyes glistening, though there were no tears. I got the feeling that she wanted to cry, but she couldn't. Why not? "If we had stayed here, we would have hurt you more than just mentally." I frowned at her questioningly, not quite getting what she was talking about; it made no sense to me.

"What do you mean?" I asked in a whisper, glancing to Rosalie now, who had clearly tensed, not sure what to say or do. This was one big secret, because even the woman at the table had stopped to listen to it. Esme glanced at her now and she nodded, as if to tell Esme to tell me. Esme sighed deeply and turned back to me.

"Bella, we had to leave because..." She paused as Rosalie glared at her furiously, telling her not to go on. "Because we're vampires." Esme finished, holding my stare now.

WHAT!?


	7. Vampires In The Night

"Esme, that isn't even funny," I whispered, my tone careful, only half joking. I don't know why, but deep down I knew it was true, that they actually were vampires. "Actually it's kind of sick to be honest. I mean who would pretend to be something like that. You're just saying that to cover your backs." I was babbling and I knew I was, but I couldn't help it. Something inside of my head had just clicked and was making sense, but it was taking time for me to realize it.

"Bella, honey, I'm telling you the truth," Esme whispered gently to me, touching my cheek with her ice cold hand. It made me shiver a little and she raised an eyebrow as if to prove her point completely.  
"B-But, you weren't before you left," I whispered in return, my eyes must have been wide because Esme looked deep in to them before glancing at the other woman who, I guess, nodded to Esme. Esme looked back to me, worry in her eyes. I knew they weren't vampires before they had left because I had spent most of my life with the family and they had defiantly changed since they had left and not before. They never used to be ice cold or so good looking, well not this good looking anyway.  
"This might be hard for you to understand and it may take time, but we need you to understand this, alright?" I nodded to this, biting my bottom lip again now, my eyes on her the whole time.

"Three years ago when we left, well before we left, Jasper fell ill, incredibly ill, he was going to die. It was a sudden sickness. He was fine on the Friday, but then Friday night he was muttering in his sleep, a cold sweat broke out and a fever, it was horrible." Esme told me while glancing at her daughter who nodded slightly then looked away. "I was going to lose my little boy, but Mary there, sensed death and she came to us, offered to save Jasper." She nodded to the grey lady who was watching intently. "Of course we accepted not knowing what was going to happen." Esme looked ashamed with herself for a moment, biting her bottom lip like me. "I would have dealt with the devil if it had meant Jasper would be spared."

I couldn't really relate to that, just that I knew I would do anything for Charlie or Alice if they fell ill, so I used that to back up what she was saying and nodded gently to her, urging to go on. She smiled a little; glad I was keeping up with as much as I could. "You were always bright," She whispered gently, touching my cheek very lightly, I didn't even flinch this time.

"And so she bit him, turning him into a vampire," Rosalie suddenly filled in for her mother, her tone was icy cold and so was her look as she glared at me. Esme carried on from there...  
"But it meant that we had to turn as well, causing us to leave the area in order to protect everyone we knew and loved."  
"But now you bite humans?"  
"No of course not!" Esme exclaimed her eyes wide suddenly shaking her head a little. "Do you think we would have come back if we did?" I didn't have to answer because she already knew what I was going to say to that one. "We came back because we're under control. We're what you'd call vegetarian vampires, meaning we don't' go for human blood, only animal blood and there is plenty of that around here."

I was shocked into silence, my mouth open a fraction, my eyes still wide, but I soon recovered and frowned at her. "And it is safe to be back? What did you do when you left? Why do you need my help?" I had hundred of questions to ask, but those were the most important. Why was I taking this so lightly as well? Shouldn't I of been screaming and running away from them? And yet here I was sat in their front room asking them questions that probably didn't even matter.

Esme just laughed lightly at me, taking my chin in her hands once again and looking at me firmly. "All will be explained," She promised me letting me go as I shuddered against her touch, still not used to it. She looked up out of the window, with a small frown. It was light already, well as light as it could be in Forks. "But for now I have to be getting you home." I nodded, getting up off the couch and heading with Esme to the door, who spoke quickly to Rosalie before we let, Rosalie nodded and disappeared, a little too fast. I really didn't want to leave, I wanted to know more about the whole thing but I guessed it would be safer for me to leave, for both me and for them.

"Now you must promise me to never come here alone," Esme told me in the car, I was hanging on for dear life, she was driving so fast! I just nodded closing my eyes a little in case I felt like I was going to throw up all over her car. "It could be dangerous, especially if Jas-"She cut off there, refusing to go any further.

"In case Jasper what?" I asked in a whisper, but she acted like she did hear me. Surprisingly we were outside my house, Charlie's cruiser had gone completely, but I knew Alice would be in, worrying about me. "Esme," I started, but Esme cut across me holding up her hand.

"No Bella, you must stay away from us, I mean it. It's not safe for you," She whispered kissing my cheek gently, and I sighed getting out of the car. Even I had noticed the hesitation in that kiss. She smiled at me as I closed the door and heading for the house door, turning back to wave her off, but she had already gone, that quickly. With another small sigh, I prepared myself for Alice...

"Where do you think you've been?!" She demanded as soon as I walked through the door, she had been sat on the stairs waiting for me, but now she was on her feet and glaring at me. I rolled my eyes and went into the front room, sinking onto the couch, I was exhausted. I heard her follow me and I closed my eyes trying to think of what to say. How could I possibly tell her what Esme had told me? I just couldn't, so for the first time in my life I was going to have to lie to my sister, if only to protect her.

"I've been with the Hales," I whispered, knowing it would shock her completely, after what had happened and all. I looked up at her, her mouth was wide open her eyes wide and surprised.  
"No way..."


	8. Moving in

"You cannot be serious Bella! Charlie is going to kill you!" Ok, this might not have been my best idea yet, but I needed to know everything that was going on with the Hales. There was just too much mystery about the whole thing and it was making me think about it even more, though I should have let it drop. I had told Alice that the Hales weren't very well and that the lady who had answered the door before had come to fetch me during the night, she was an auntie of some sort, I told her I didn't quite know. None of which was true, but I had to think of something and that was the best I could think of. I don't think she quite brought it to be honest, but never mind.

I had been thinking about the Hales the whole time we were in Forks for the holiday, but I had heard nothing from them. I had thought about going up there to see them, and then I remembered my promise. Quite a few times I actually got in my car and started the engine before remembering and turning it off so I could just sit there and think. I waited through the whole week but there wasn't a word, not a single word.

And now, I was packing a case, my small case, to go and move in with the Hales. I couldn't stand this any longer; it was getting on my nerves more than anything. They had told me Jasper needed my help and I would be leaving that morning to go back to college. They hadn't bothered to contact me, so I was taking matters into my own hands and going to them. I just hoped they would take me in; otherwise I was going to have nowhere to stay, until I could get Alice back down to pick me up.

"Look Alice, all you have to do is drop me at the Hales before going off to college," I explained, shoving as many clothes into the case as I could. "Then when you get back to college, send all my clothes to me." I saw the hurt look cross her eyes and she started to pout, great.  
"Why though? What's happened that you can't tell me?" I sighed turning to face her with a small smile shaking my head. I had never lied this much to my sister and I never intended to again, it hurt.  
"It's not that I can't tell you, it's just that it's...complicated. You see Jasper has fallen into illness even more now and they need me to be there for him." I lied quickly, stuttering the whole way through, turning away from her so she wouldn't see it in my eyes like I knew she would. After a long pause she spoke again.

"And if you catch it?" Damn it! This girl was too good for me; she was thinking of everything that I had hoped she wouldn't.  
"Jasper is out of that stage, I'll be fine," I tried to smile, but I think it came out as a grimace because Alice looked unimpressed as I turned away, packing my case again.

I had this all planned and she had better not go messing it up. Charlie had left for work early this morning, popping into each of our rooms to say goodbye and good luck, so we were safe there. Edward would be round in about two minutes and the three of us were supposed to be going to college with one another, but I wasn't going. I was trying to convince Alice to drop me at the Hales on the way, where I would proceed to bombard them with questions until I got answers. But Alice wasn't complying.

"Fine," She said eventually, knowing I was not going to budge; this was one of the few things that her pout did not succeed in messing up. I grinned to myself, wiping it off as I turned to face her and smiled sincerely.  
"Thanks Alice, this means the world to me," I told her going over to hug my older sister, who returned it.  
"Just be careful and this isn't my fault if Charlie finds out," I knew that was coming, so I nodded turning back to my case once again as the bell went and Alice left the room. Edward was going to grill me, I knew it. I just hope Alice would keep him under control.

Ten minutes later we were all packed into the car, me in the back the other two in the front. Surprisingly Edward hadn't grilled me like I had expected, maybe Alice had him on a leash, for now at least. But he did shoot my glares every now and again, which I ignored. I was happy, but at the same time extremely nervous, what I was doing was dangerous for both me and the Hales. I just wished more than anything that this went well.

Alice pulled into the driveway, driving carefully down it until we reached the house. Just like before my stomach did back flips and I felt like I was going to throw up, but I hid my feelings well. Getting out when we stopped I pulled my case with me and Alice climbed out as well, followed by Edward. Alice hugged me tightly which I returned. "Be careful," I told her gently with a warm smile before hugging Edward. "And you." He just grinned, though it was strained. He clearly didn't like this idea either, but what else could I do?

I waited for them to get back and the car and leave, I waved happily to them, or so I made it look like I was happy. Then I walked up the steps to the house, dragging me case with me. I stopped taking a deep breath in the doorway and pushing it open, to my surprise it was unlocked. Biting my bottom lip I entered the Hale's wide, white, open house. This was too weird, they should have pounced on me by now, but there wasn't any sign of anyone.

I walked fully in now, dropping my case on the floor, biting my bottom lip still. I glanced around, tempted to call out to them, but I thought better of it. Knowing my luck I would get Jasper who would kick me out without a doubt. There was a sudden laugh from the kitchen area my head snapped round to it, and three people walked into the hallway, freezing when they either caught my scent or spotted me. Esme snapped out of it first, looking from me to my case, I went bright red. "Bella...What?" She whispered looking fearfully at me now.

"I've come to move in," I whispered eventually after several moments of strange silence. All three of the female vampires glanced at one another, looking like they couldn't quite believe me. I don't see why not, I said it quite seriously, because I was deadly serious I was there to stay...


	9. Friendship: A Thing That Is Never Ruined

"Bella this is wrong, you shouldn't be here," Esme whispered coming to me side now with a small sigh to herself, though I clearly heard it. It made me see red, they needed my help, well or so they said they did and now they were turning me away, again.

"Esme, you told me you wanted me to help Jasper," I told her furiously, narrowing my eyes in what I thought was a dangerous way, but then again these three were vampires and they were a lot more evil looking than I could be. Esme sighed, though this time it was sympathetic towards me which really didn't help with my mood. I growled again, glaring at her still, I then glanced to Rosalie and the woman, who I didn't know and for some reason didn't trust either. There was just something about her that screamed out at me, something I didn't like. My eyes returned to Esme, who was studying me carefully.

"If you stay here," Esme started and my heart lifted instantly, though I didn't know why. Maybe I was just happy to be able to help my best friend. Rosalie suddenly cut across Esme, her eyes and voice absolutely furious.

"You have got to be kidding me!?" She growled at her mother, narrowing her eyes instantly. "She can't stay here, Jasper will kill you! And then her!" I flinched at this because I knew in my heart that it was true. Jasper was prepared to kill me; I had gathered that from the last time we had met.

"Rose shut up for just a moment," Esme growled, her voice just as fierce as she turned to glare at Rosalie, who shut her mouth about to say something else. I grinned a little, but it faded as Rose shot me a glare. Esme walked towards her daughter in what I guessed was a threatening manner and it worked because Rose kept her mouth shut and even took a step back, though the woman beside her remained as still as a statue. "Bella NEEDS to be here for Jasper. He is not going to get through this without her. She needs to be here to be his rock, to hold him steady." She turned back to me, with a small sigh. "Bella you need to understand that Jasper isn't quite coping with the whole….vampire thing."

I nodded a little, but then frowned. What did she mean by that? Jasper wasn't coping with it? He seemed fine to me, fine enough to order me to leave. "How do you mean not coping with it?" I asked, my voice trembling just a little as I asked. Esme sighed walking over to me and taking my hand. Hers was still as cold as ever and as hard as rock on mine, as she sat my on the couch, sitting beside me.

"He can't quite get to grips with it," Esme told me in a soft voice, as I studied her beautiful face and it truly was beautiful. "He has a serious urge for human blood, but at the same time he wants to stop himself. You know what Jasper is like, doesn't want to hurt a soul." I raised an eyebrow at this, remembering when he had beaten a kid senseless because he had dared to insult me. "With the exception of sticking up for you," Esme added with a small chuckle. "Now I and Rose have no trouble with fighting the urge. It's not that he is not strong enough, it's just that everyone is affected differently."

"We brought him back here so you could help," She carried on as I frowned at her, not quite understanding why it was me. "You were always closer than the others were to him. Yes Alice used to hang out with him a fair bit and Edward did too, but he always had a soft spot for you. It showed a fair few times, like when he beat boys up for upsetting you." 'That didn't upset me,' I said in my head, though not out loud, let her think her son was a hero.

I wasn't really inclined to think that. After all he had been less than nice to me when we had last met. In fact he had ordered me out of his home, like I was some tramp begging for a place to stay. But I wasn't was I? I was his former best friend, and now we hated one another.

That wasn't true; I didn't hate him though he appeared to hate me. His cold manner scared me more than anything I had ever come across, it just wasn't Jasper. And I wanted my Jasper back, the one I knew the best, the one who had stuck up for me, even when it wasn't needed, the one who had hugged me when I had been down, the one who had just been there for me.

But that Jasper was gone. He had gone when he had been changed. And the one that was left was this cold mannered person who I didn't recognise at all. And I didn't like it one little bit. So why had I come? Was there any reason for it? There must have been or I wouldn't have been sat in the Hale's couch talking to Esme about how much Jasper was struggling.

I suddenly clicked, everything made sense, but I was a little unsure of what I knew I was going to be asked. "So you want me to be around him, so he gets used to the human scent," I whispered, my voice careful and guarded. Esme looked a little surprised, then nodded, but then shook her head.

"Not just for that, I want him to have someone that he knows, apart from us around him, to support him." She explained, also in a careful voice. I bit my lip, thinking about it.

On one hand I was most likely saving my best friend from losing his soul in a massive killing spree that would hang over him for the rest of his life. On the other hand I was risking my life, putting in the hands of four vampires who I now knew nothing about. My thoughts fought one another until one set of them won, the ones that wanted to help save Jasper.

"I'll do it," I whispered, closing my eyes for just a second, before opening them to look at Esme. "I'll help Jasper." Esme looked overjoyed, but when I glanced at Rosalie and the woman, whose name I still didn't know, they looked angry, annoyed and upset. Damn it, they were going to make this more than a little hard. I could tell that…

**Authors note: I need a little help. It keeps saying I've reached my uploading limit. Can I delete some chapters? And will they still be there on the stories if I do? I'm new to all of this so I'm a little unsure of it. If you could just add this on to the end of a review, I would be most grateful. Thanks!**


	10. Talents

I don't know what woke me; it must have been the blinding morning sun that shone through the window. That was unusual for Forks, very unusual. Wait, where was I? What was this weird white room? I sat straight up in bed; my body tensed, my eyes wide, not remembering the night before. Then it all sunk in, what had happened. That's right I had come to live with the Hales, in order to help Jasper, with his blood lust problem. It all seemed a little hazy now.

Esme had insisted that I went straight to bed once she had told me everything last night, saying that I looked droopy and tired. And so I obeyed, after all, who messes with a vampire? I had been shown one of the many spare rooms by the woman, whose name I was still unsure of, and taken to it straight away. Surprisingly there was a bed, though they didn't sleep and the bedroom faced the back of the house, towards the forest. It had a wonderful view, but was right in line with the morning sun. Not so good.

I stretched and yawned now, pulling myself out of bed. The bed was wonderful, so soft and easy to fall asleep in. In fact I had been asleep within moments of putting my head on the pillow. I hadn't bothered to unpack yesterday and had slept for a good few hours. I was ravenous now, more than ravenous; I could eat a horse, or two. I pulled on some old jeans and a jumper, even though the air was warm. I slipped some slippers on my feet and headed down the hallway, I hadn't washed as I was unclear of where the bathroom was. Esme had showed me last night, but I couldn't remember. I would have to ask.

As soon as I reached the stairs I the smell the lovely smell of bacon frying in the pan hit me, but at the same time it made me feel a little sick. I closed my eyes for a moment before heading off down the stairs and following the scent. I was soon in the kitchen, and Esme was by the cooker, her back to me. I knew she had heard me come in. Last night before I went to bed, Esme explained some of the 'talents' that they had. They all had the ability to run fast, hear, see and smell better than any human, sparkle in the sun, though she said that wasn't so much of a talent and also they were nearly impossible to kill. She said there were also a few others that weren't important. And then there were the vampires who could do special things.

That woman had butted in then to explain, though it was clear Esme had wanted to. She had told me that Jasper, though he hadn't quite got the hang of it yet, could calm a room full of angry people, or put them to sleep. He manipulated people's feelings. Rosalie had the talent of pure beauty and I had to admit that was true. Esme on the other hand had the talent of her kindness, which she had always had. The woman said that the talents were linked to the life they had before. Jasper had always sorted out problems for us, calmed me at least, Esme had always been kind hearted and Rose had always been vain. I was unsure of what power the woman had, she didn't say.

I coughed, just to announce my presence, though she knew. We were the only two in there, I suspected Rosalie had gone out, though nowhere near any humans as the sun was out, which made a change, and Jasper hadn't come home last night. That woman was taking her leave today and coming back in a fortnight's time, maybe she had already left, thank goodness. Esme turned and beamed at me, she seemed generally pleased that I was there, even though she was a little wary. "Bella I cooked your breakfast," She told me, though that was unneeded as I could already tell. "But I kind of cooked too much," She bit her bottom lip and turned to the massive plates that held my breakfast, my mouth fell open. There were scrambled eggs, pancakes, waffles and lots more. "But I'm not used to cooking, these past years." She laughed as she saw my expression. "I have to go and help Rose with the car, please excuse me. Help yourself."

I sat down at the table in the kitchen, my mouth still wide. This was so unnecessary, it wasn't needed at all. I sighed and pulled some pancakes towards me. I had never been a morning person and didn't like to eat a lot, though I knew I should. But I tucked in regardless, not wanting to hurt her feelings. Halfway through my second pancake I dropped my knife on the floor, me being clumsy. "Shoot," I whispered as I bent down to pick it up. I did, but on the sharp end, cutting across my hand. I hadn't noticed until I fully lifted the knife back to the table, causing my fist to close on it even more and the knife dug in further. That's when I felt a sear of pain, and dropped the knife once again with a small gasp of agony.

I looked in horror at my bloody hand, the blood dripping slowly down my wrist and catching on my sleeve. This wasn't exactly good in a house full of vampires, but I didn't register that...yet. I bit my bottom lip as I grabbed a cloth that sat on the table. I held it fast in my cut hand, still biting my bottom lip. The bleeding was bad and I was going to need a few stitches at least. The pain was almost unbearable. I hadn't realized how sharp the knife had been, I just picked it up.

I pulled myself to my feet, feeling a little off as I didn't much like blood. I staggered to the sink, leaning over it to be sick, I really did hate blood. Once I was finished, the door slammed open and I spun around, nearly falling over in the process. Crouched in the doorway was Jasper, his eyes wide, a snarl ripping from his chest. Oh no, this could not be happening. Anyone but Jasper!

I gasped, just as he caught me by the throat, slamming me against the wall. I winced as I felt the pain rip through me, this was not good. It had all happened so fast. One minute he was in the doorway, next he had me by the throat. Then I remembered he had abnormal speed. He was breathing deeply, taking in my scent and I froze my eyes wide. Esme had said Jasper had a lust for blood and here I was with blood pouring from my hand. He wasn't exactly going to stop, even if I was his best friend. First morning on the job and I was already up against the wall...


	11. Darkness within

This was the last thing that we needed to happen. And by we I meant, me, and the Hales. They didn't need a death hanging over them and I didn't really want to die, not yet anyway. But still Jasper didn't think of that did he? His vampire senses were taking over and he'd lost all sense of self control.

He held me by the throat against the wall now, his cold body pressed to mine, his normally brown eyes glistening as he focused on my face. I took a gulp and tried to talk, but he was constricting my airway. "J-Jasper," I gasped, trying to pull at the cold fingers around my neck, but they weren't budging. Why hadn't he killed me already? Maybe he did have a slight conscience, even if it was very small. I suddenly felt ultra calm, like I wasn't in a dying situation, then I remembered what Jasper's 'talent' was and I fought back against it, knowing he was manipulating my feelings. "J-Jasper," I tried again and he pulled back a little, as if he was seeing me for the first time in ages, which he was to be honest.

"Bella," He whispered his voice was like velvet, his fingers letting go of my throat as I gagged from breath, bent double, taking as many deep breaths as I could. My lungs felt like they were on fire and my throat was sore from where he had held me tightly. He hadn't moved, his eyes wide, and then he started to back away as I straightened up. He was making for the door; I couldn't just be left here like that. "Jaz don't," I whispered, using his old nickname for the first time in what seemed like ages. He froze again as I clutched the counter for support, retching a little. Suddenly pair of cold hands were around my wrists, pulling me towards another room. I retched again and someone whispered in a soothing voice in my ear. "Calm down Bella," To my surprise it was Esme's voice and not Jaspers. But _he_ had been in the room with me hadn't he?

"We had to get Jasper out." That woman explained to me in a soft voice. Why hadn't I found out her name yet?! She was the one holding me, and though Esme held out for a little while she had to leave as well, along with Rose. The woman seemed ok with the sight and smell of my blood pouring down my arm, in fact as she was the calmest out of the group.

She sat me down on the couch I had been sat on before and saw to my cut on my hand. She even stitched it for me, which I found a little strange. "Why do you have all of this stuff?" I asked as she opened up a briefcase full of items from a hospital. She grinned at me, before looking back down at the case.

"Well I used to be a nurse, a long time ago and when I knew you were staying I took the liberty of getting a few supplies," She told me as I winced, when she put a cotton pad on my hand, covered in a brown liquid. "I had heard you were a little on the clumsy side. What happened? This looks too clean to be accidental. Did Jasper do this to you?"

I shook my head quickly, looking horrified she would even think that. "No, of course he didn't. I was eating in the kitchen when I dropped my knife and well," I shrugged a little, telling her she should know if she knew I was clumsy. She nodded, almost knowingly.

"Well I think I am going to have to postpone my leaving," She said thoughtfully as she studied me carefully. "After all, it's your first day here and you're already hurt. I'm going to have to tell Esme to lock away all the knives." I smiled a little at her jokes; I was starting to like her. Well they say never to judge a book by the cover.

"What's your name?" I asked her gently, as she wiped my arm to get rid of the blood. She looked up at me for a moment, then back to my arm.

"Lily Hale," She told me in a firm voice. Why didn't it sound right then? I nodded, saying nothing more on the matter. She finished cleaning my hand, before getting up and leaving without another word. She wasn't a Hale was she?

I sat for the rest of the day alone, not wanting to do anything. My hand was hurting more than when it had happened, and I really needed some painkillers, but Lily wasn't around. No-one was. Where was everyone? Surely it wouldn't be like this for the whole time I was staying.

After two hours of doing nothing, but sitting there I got bored and went up to my room to unpack, but as I was on the way to my room I spotted that a door was open that hadn't been open before. Frowning a little I headed over to the door and peered inside, I was just a little curious. To my surprise it was Jasper's room, and he was lying on the bed face down. I fought the urge to go inside and lost completely. As soon as I was a step inside, his body went rigid before he sat up. He'd heard or smelt me, either one. I bit my lip, frozen in the doorway as he sat up and faced me. The look he threw me made me step back in shock. That wasn't the Jasper that I knew, not at all. "What do you want?!" It was the same voice as before, not the one he had used earlier when I had been hurt. I must have looked hurt because he sighed and sat up properly. "Bella you're in danger here, can't you see that?" His tone was a little better, but not completely.

I found my voice and managed to growl at him furiously, which even shocked him a little, but he held a straight face. "I came here to help you Jaz…" No, don't call him Jaz; it would seem like old times. "Per," I added quickly, though he had already noticed and turned away. I could have sworn he was smiling a little, but when he turned back his face was straight and unreadable.

"I don't need your help Isabella Swan. Get out of my life! I tried to get rid of you once and that didn't work did it?! You're still holding on as if you're life depended on it! I don't need you! Can't you see that?" What was it with his sudden changes of mood? Was he trying to get me to hate him? Wait, he most likely was.

"Fine, then you go around biting humans," I told him furiously, my own temper rising surprisingly fast. "You make me sick! You don't even deserve to exist! You're whole existence sickens me!" Ouch, that was a little harsh, but what he had said to me had been even worse, so I didn't care. I turned quickly and stormed from the room, slamming the door behind me. As I stalked down the corridor I heard something smash in Jasper room. I winced a little, but kept walking. I _HATED_ him!


	12. Can't Hide Those Emotions!

The next three days were basically the same. I woke up, ate a massive breakfast that Esme had made, though it nearly always made me feel sick, sat around for the best part of four hours doing nothing, went for a walk along the river, had another massive meal, then did nothing until dinner, which was again enormous. This entire time Jasper stayed out of my way and I stayed out of his. I saw him once, which was fine with me, I didn't want to see him, not after what had happened. But Esme, who had been told what had happened, stayed with me some of the time, though most of the time I was on my own.

On the fifth day since I had arrived, I was sat in the middle of the front room floor, flicking through some papers Alice had sent me, so I could catch up with the work. I was having real trouble with it, though Alice had explained it fully in the letter. "That's wrong," A velvet voice said over my shoulder, I jumped and turned my face to the intruder, only to nearly have a heart attack. It was Jasper. "Here, let me show you," He whispered, his face unreadable as he sat beside me on the floor, taking the sheets from my hands. His hands brushed mine; they were just as cold as Esme's had been. He flinched a little, obviously feeling the warmth in mine.

Jasper had always been brighter than me, way advanced, and whenever I had trouble with my homework, Jasper was the one to help me. And now it seemed he was about to do the same as before. I listened intently as he showed me what I was supposed to be doing with the sums. At the end, I nodded slightly, not looking at him in case I caught his eye and I didn't want that. Both of us had acted out of character before, though I no longer knew what he was like, so I couldn't judge that. Ok, so _I_ had acted out of character, which was unlike me. Was this him trying to make peace? Jasper sighed a little, scooting a little further away from me, but only so he could look at me properly.

"Bella, I shouldn't have acted that way towards you, I am sorry," He whispered, I could feel his gaze on my head, which was bowed, looking at the ground. "It was out of order, I see now that you only wanted to help." I nodded a little, only because it would look like I was acknowledging what he said. "The truth is...I'm frightened." I looked up at my old friend now, concern on my face. Jasper had never admitted he was frightened, even when he was and it showed, he would never admit it. "I've never been so scared."

I searched his face for any signs of lying or winding me up, but there was known, he looked really frightened. "Explain everything to me," I whispered after a lengthy silence, my eyes locked onto his, I was biting my bottom lip. He sighed and broke the gaze, looking at the floor, before back at me.  
"I fell ill Bella, seriously ill and overnight as well. I kept waking from the same dream, and it frightened me, I was losing you and the others, I was walking away." My dream, I thought to myself, biting my bottom lip a little again. That's what I was dreaming...

"Then there was blackness, and a burning, I can't begin to explain, but when I woke I was this," He had hesitated through the whole of his little explanation and now he looked down at his white icy skin. I had only just noticed what he was wearing and it shocked me. Jasper had always been a bit athletic, but he had _NEVER_ looked like this. His blue long sleeved t-shirt was clinging to his body, which was all muscle. He was wearing black skinny jeans, his long legs crossed as he studied them intensely.

"Bella, I never wanted this," He told me, looking up and catching my gaze again, he held it this time. "I wanted to stay with you...all. I wanted my life to be with my friends. To grow up and go to college, with Edward, like we planned. I wanted to get married, normally and have children, but that can never happen." I frowned a little, not getting where he was coming from.  
"Sure you can," I whispered, my voice barely audible as I studied him. He just laughed bitterly, shaking his head as his eyes stayed locked onto mine, never wavering.

"How can I?" He demanded suddenly, his eyes shifted so quickly, to furious, that I flinched and backed away a little. His eyes softened again as he studied me. "I attacked you when the slightest bit of blood was spilled. How can I fit in normally?" I didn't know how to answer. Was there even an answer to that? I didn't think so, maybe there wasn't. After a horrible silence Jasper spoke up again, he was smiling gently now though, the same smile that I remembered from before.

"Can I just say how much you have grown up," He said, his tone like velvet, completely melting me on the inside. I just smiled, tempted to tell him the same, but kept my mouth shut, knowing how much that might upset him. He had never wanted this for himself; this was not the path he would have chosen. "And your emotions are mad," He added, studying me with such intense eyes now. "You're angry, upset..." He didn't carry on and I blushed, knowing he knew what I was feeling. "And now embarrassed." He just laughed at this, his head on one side. "Explain."

I looked away, still red in the face. "Well I'm angry with you for the way you treated me when I first arrived. I'm upset this even happened, that you had to become this way, even a little angry at that." I explained to him, my eyes focused on the floor. Please don't ask me the other thing, oh please!  
"I can understand the worrying, but the longing?" Jasper asked, I didn't look up, but I could tell he was frowning and I merely shrugged, cursing to myself silently.

"Can I," He whispered suddenly after several minutes' silence. I frowned up at him, but he merely leant forwards, taking my two hands in his own icy cold ones. He held them for a moment, scooting closer to me. "You're the first human we've interacted with," He added as he pressed my hands to his cheeks, I shivered a little, my eyes focused on him. "You have no idea how weird that feels." Biting his bottom lip, he moved my hand gently along his cheek as if savouring the moment. And then he was gone, my hands still outstretched to where his cheeks had been.

**I actually fell in love with this chapter. I know it's not the greatest, but I love the end bit with Jasper! So sweet...Let's hope this continues...Or will it?!?!**


	13. Bruises Show The Worst In People

Alice had sent me yet more work. And I didn't get a single bit of it. Luckily I had Jasper, not that I had seen him much since the last incident. I'd been at the Hales a week when Alice sent me my suitcase full of clothes and in with that more homework. I was sat at the kitchen table, drawing graphs when the chair opposite me was pulled out and someone sat down. I didn't look up, it was mostly likely Lily or Esme come to check on me. "You're completely rubbish," A familiar velvet voice chuckled as a sheet was wiped from under my nose. I looked up, through my hair, at Jasper who was studying the sheet. "That is complete rubbish." He commented, handing it back to me.

I snatched it back, pushing it into my book and standing up, tucking the book under my arm. "Sorry we can't all be brain-boxes like you," I said heatedly as I left the kitchen now. Why was he trying to act like nothing was wrong again? It had been the same with the front room, when he had put my hands on his cheeks. He just didn't get it, did he? Before I even got a chance to leave the kitchen, he was there in the doorway, his eyes intently on me as I growled slightly, glaring at him.

"Bella, I'm sorry. That was out of order," He whispered looking down at me. Had he always been that much taller than me? I just shook my head and tried to brush past, but his arm was blocking my way and it wasn't moving. "Hear me out."  
"I don't want to Jaz," I growled, ducking under his arm and leaving the kitchen. "First I arrive and you tell me to get out, then you attack me, then you ignore me and now you're acting as nice as anything." I suddenly felt two cold firm hands grab the crease of my elbow, locking my arms and turning me, so my back was against the wall. I glared at Jasper; my chest rising and falling with complete panic, though that was all I showed.

"Do you know how hard this is?!" Jasper asked me, his tone dangerous, I hated it, more than anything. "Having you in the house and not being able to bite you? To feed of your blood?! Do you understand that?" He paused to look at me, my arms still locked under his steely grasp. "No, I think not," He finished, not letting me go and locking onto my eyes again.

"Jasper let go," I whispered, my eyes and tone begging him. He snapped out of it, just like before, releasing my arms instantly. He looked at me fearfully; his eyes wide and worried as he backed away. "I-I'm sorry Bella..." I just bit my bottom lip, walking slowly away from the wall and darting up the stairs, running into my room and slamming the door.

I fell asleep that night fully clothed and my tears staining the pillow on which my head lay...

How could my best friend have done that to me? I was sat on the bed, in the same clothes as the night before, my eyes red from lack of sleep and crying. "Bella, breakfast," Esme's soft voice said at my door, and I wiped my face, though I knew she wouldn't come in.  
"Not hungry Esme," I told her, my voice thick from where I had been crying. There was silence then; Esme had obviously retreated back downstairs. It had been the same last night when she had wanted me to go and eat something for dinner, but I had refused.

I pulled up the sleeve on my shirt now, my fingers tracing the purple bruises that already lay there. I looked at them, they were horrible, and I couldn't let Jasper see these. It was sure to tip him over the edge if he did. Biting my bottom lip, fresh tears streamed down my cheeks. Why was I so upset? I had lots of reasons. I was missing Alice, she had called me last night to tell me how much fun I was missing, I was missing hearing from Charlie, and Edward hadn't called. My best friend had bruised me and was most likely going to kill me and I felt closed in, like I couldn't do anything about it.

Which was true I couldn't. I had decided on this life, the one that I wanted to lead and now I was leading it, bruises and all. I closed my eyes, trying to stop the tears that threatened to carry on regardless. There was a weight on the end of my bed, where my feet were, someone sitting down. I opened my eyes, and was once again surprised to see Jasper in my presence. "Bella, don't cry," He whispered, frowning a little. Oh great, he could sense feelings and I was full of them right now. "It hurts me as well, but why are you crying?"

"Get lost Jasper," I growled, getting up off the bed to go downstairs. But he caught my arm, where he had grabbed me yesterday and I winced, unable to stop myself. Jasper stood now, his hand still on my arm, though his touch was gentler. Carefully he rolled up my sleeve, revealing the bruise on that arm. Closing his eyes for a moment, then opening them, he did the same with the other arm, revealing that bruise. "This is what upset you?"

I realized something, quite suddenly too. Jasper could sense feelings, but he couldn't see the reasoning behind them, so he had no idea why I had been upset, until now. "Not just that," I answered him, my voice barely audible. He closed his eyes again, his hands dropping off of my arms.  
"But this is some of it?" He asked, and I didn't want to answer, I just nodded. I think he understood because he opened his eyes again and though I hadn't answered, he knew.

"Now do you see Bella?" He asked, his face was so pain and tortured that I was shocked into silence, my eyes wide as he studied me. "Now see why I didn't want you around?" I suddenly saw red again, for the second time with him; I mean properly saw red this time.

"Stop blaming yourself!" I told him furiously, causing him to frown at me, looking like he might protest. "Just stop it! I made the choice to come here, I put myself in danger and there is nothing you can do about it." Jasper stopped now, he had been about to say something, but thought better of it.

"Sweet innocent Bella," Was all he whispered now, tracing the line of my cheek with his thumb, his eyes locked onto mine and mine never leaving his. "You always did keep me sane. And that was no way to repay you." He smiled gently at me, his thumb gliding past my lips, touching them briefly. "You will understand one day how much danger you are in, though I hope that never comes. And I hope the day when i can repay does come." He left then, and quickly, only just at human speed. The touch of his hand on my cheek had left a tingling sensation.


	14. Sleeping Kiss

We pretty much avoided one another for the next week. I finally found that I could do more when I put my mind to it, which I did because boredom was taking hold and quickly. I had already decorated my room how I wanted it, as Esme had suggested, though I had liked it the way it was. She wanted me to put my personal touch to the place, and to my surprise Rosalie offered to take me out shopping, which I was reluctant about as I _HATE_ shopping at all costs. Turns out she wasn't trying to be nice, but instead trying to ask me about Emmett and what he had been up to. Well the main questions were about other girlfriends, which he hadn't had, though many had offered. She seemed pleased at that and had agreed to take me home as soon as we had finished, instead of browsing the shops for clothes. Which was incredibly generous for Rose.

I noticed that when we were walking around the stores, a lot of people stared at us. Well when I say us, I mean Rose; even she seemed unnerved by it, though she was used to a bit of attention. Later on she told me it had only been her third outing since she had been turned and it did freak her out a little. I couldn't blame her really, when you have greasy haired sales assistants chasing you around the store, you sort of see her point.

So that was all done and I was still working on the work load sent by Alice, though now Jasper stayed out of my way and didn't offer anymore comments on how bad my work was. The bruises had faded, but I had made sure to wear long sleeved tops around the others, so they wouldn't see. Lily, I think, had already noticed them, as I caught her frowning at me more than once. She had left for a little bit now, not coming back for a while. The house might well be in chaos by the time she got back. Halfway through week two Rosalie announced that she was leaving to go to college, the same college Emmett was at. Luckily where he was there was a massive forest nearby so she would be able to hunt with ease and it was fairly cloudy most of the time. Both Esme and I hid our pleasure well, wishing her the best of luck with that. So that would mean Rose would leave when the new semester started, after the holiday, whenever that was. Leaving me, Jasper and Esme alone, for Lily too was leaving for good soon.

Then Esme told us some unnerving news, well for me anyway and most likely for Jasper. "I'm sorry guys, but I have to teach Rosalie some things for when she starts college, meaning you two are going to be left in the house alone for about three days." I was sat on the floor, playing a game by myself, Jasper on the couch, as far away from me as possible when she told us. I froze completely, my eyes wide, as I looked up at her. Was she serious?! She couldn't leave me with him surely? He'd kill me if I spilled the slightest bit of blood. Jasper too looked horrified, but he held it in and said nothing, just looking away, he was angry.

"Bella," He whispered once Esme had left the room, after telling us all of the things that we needed to do while they were away. "You were terrified by that thought, I could tell." _Oh of course you could, _I thought bitterly to myself, not looking up. Jasper sighed and slipped off the coach, sliding himself towards me. He really did want to be close didn't he? "We're not staying here, we're going to go to Seattle or something that way I'll be less tempted..." He stopped there, trailing off and I nodded slightly. "You should go and pack we leave when they do." He told me, getting up now.

I nodded again, not muttering a single word as I got up to pack a bag. I was too shocked to say anything, my mouth wouldn't work and neither would my brain to tell my mouth to work, to say something. I just did as I was told and got on with it. I would just have to keep my distance from Jasper. But what had he said? We were going to Seattle, at least I'd be a little safer there than out here I guessed and it would get me out. I wouldn't see anyone I knew, so I was safe on the Charlie thing.

Three hours later we were all packed to go and I was sat in Jasper's blue convertible, I had no idea of the make because I am rubbish with cars. The badge was yellow with a black horse; I think he said Ferrari or something like that. Jasper was in the driver's seat, reversing out of the garage at a high speed and setting off. We were both completely silent for at least twenty minutes. Twenty minutes of me panicking on the inside because he was driving at an incredible speed. He chuckled to himself, turning his head to look at me. "Don't worry I am an excellent driver, you're safe in here with me." He told me firmly, as I winced a little, pointing back to the road. _Wait did he just say I was safe in here with him? I think not..._

"Just keep your eyes on the road please," I begged him, as I clung to my seatbelt, afraid of him crashing into something. He just laughed a little again and looked back at the road. I felt suddenly calm, like I had before and this time I let it take over me completely and settled in the seat, my eyes looking out of the window.  
"Better?" He asked in a soft tone and I nodded, not looking at him at all. The silences were no longer awkward, but pleasant. "How about you sleep?" He suggested and I suddenly felt like I hadn't slept in weeks. With a small yawn my eyes drooped closed and before I knew it I was asleep in his car.

I don't remember much after that, just two firm arms picking me up and carrying me somewhere, but that was all hazy and I wasn't even sure the second thing had happened. I could have sworn someone kissed me on the forehead, as if wishing me a good night's sleep. But then it could have been my overactive imagination. Surely Jasper wouldn't have done that? It wasn't like him. Maybe I was just missing Alice or Charlie too much....


	15. The Realisation

There was a strong smell of food when I finally opened my eyes. I stretched; I could feel that my clothes from the night before were really stiff where I'd slept in them. With a small yawn and a rub of my eyes to remove any sleepy dust I took in my surroundings. I was in a pretty basic hotel bedroom, normal bed, dressing table, that sort of thing. Not that I really stayed in hotels very often, but I could tell. Even though that was the case, it was still really nice. The big double bed where I had slept had moulded to me and I could see on en-suite bathroom off to the right. But I didn't want to explore for now, I wanted food. So with another stretch and a yawn, I pulled myself wearily off the bed, but then bounced across the room and into another room.

I found myself in a vast front room and there sat in the middle of the room was a coffee table and a tray of food, balancing a piece of paper on top. Jasper was nowhere in the room so I headed over to the table, picking up the paper.  
_"I took the liberty of ordering you some breakfast, I hope I ordered right. Take care. I'll be back as soon as I can. Jaz."_ I smiled to myself, looking down at the tray. My smile widened even more, my favourite cereal bars were there with a glass of orange juice. He had remembered. But this food was wrapped and had no smell. So where had those smells come from. I didn't dwell on it, but dug straight in.

It was exactly 47 minutes later when Jasper returned, not that I was counting or anything. I had already showered and changed into some fresh clothes. Jasper merely glanced at me sat on the couch, reading, when he entered. After a few minutes silence, that I didn't feel necessary to break, he asked, "Good sleep?" I glanced up at him and nodded, before looking back down at my book. It was silent after that again, neither of us talking. I was starting to get exceedingly warm as well. Why was it so hot in here?

"Is the heating on in here?" I asked Jasper, setting my book down and fanning myself with my hands. Jasper had sat himself on one of the straight back chairs across the room.  
"The heating is broken," He told me as I fanned myself still. "It broke down this morning, the manager apologised for any inconveniences." He rose from his seat and walked over to me. I froze where I was sat as he sat himself down next to me, an arm cold arm slung over my shoulders. It was so cold it felt nice, I cuddled closer to him. It was his turn to freeze now, but after a few moments he seemed to relax.

Relax enough to pull me onto his laps, putting his arms around me fully. This really shocked me, the new Jasper wasn't this physical around me, and he barely touched me if he could help it. I was hit by a sudden flood of memories and I'm sure he was thinking the same things. We had always sat like this when I was upset. Now it felt like the old times, except Jasper wasn't himself anymore, he was now a vampire. "Better?" I hadn't realised how close he was until he whispered then. His mouth was against my ear, my back pressing against his cold hard chest and his firm arms around my waist, holding me to him. I was unable to talk so I just nodded. I felt his cold lips brush my ear gently and I shivered a little, my arms held by my side.

Before I knew it I was sat back on the couch, and Jasper had left the room. Damn it! Why did everything go so wrong all of the time? That had felt so right it was unbelievable. Sat alone now I began to think of some of the old times when things had been better. It had always been the trio, me and the boys. But I had always been closer to Jasper than Edward. Maybe it was because Edward was dating my sister and it wouldn't have looked right for me to be so close to him.

But I didn't think that was the reason really. I loved Edward like a brother, he had always been that way with me, but then I looked at the way I had loved Jasper. It hadn't been brotherly, far from it. I suddenly saw what Alice had meant when she said we made a nice little couple, because we basically had been a couple. The love that we had shared all those years ago hadn't been in a family way. He hadn't used to wind me up like Emmett had, for I had loved him like a brother as well, or helped me like Edward had.

I thought further back now, biting my bottom lip. He had beaten a kid up for calling me names, because I hung around with boys. That seemed a little too protective now. At the time I had just thought it was him being brotherly, but when I thought of it like this it looked different some how. He had always sat me on his lap when I had been sad or angry, comforted me. I don't remember Emmett or Edward ever doing that. The touch of his fingers in my hair as he made everything better for me, the burning look in his eyes when he looked at me were all clear now.

I had been so naive, so very naive. I could see everything now, every single detail that had lead to this, had lead to me admitting what I should have ages ago. And even I was surprised by it myself, but now I couldn't deny it, there was no denying it. I _WAS_ definitely in love with Jasper Hale and always had been...


	16. Nothing Is Ever Fair

How was I meant to act around him now? Did he feel the same way as I did? Would he be able to love me now he was a vampire? These were just some of the questions racing round my head at a high speed, there were many others as well. None of it was making sense to me; it was all just a blur in my head. I needed to sort myself out before he came back. Of course there wouldn't be a chance for that would there? That would only be fair to me. Jasper returned only a few minutes after he had left. I was by this point wandering around my room, trying to think of ways to control my feelings, not that it would work.

"Bella," Jasper's velvet voice said from the doorway. Oh no, here we go. I blushed bright red, bowing my head so not to look at him. He was instantly at my side, obviously feeling the mix of feelings that I felt myself. "What's wrong?" His hand touched my cheek, forcing me to look up at him, my own eyes wide, full of tears. "Bella!" He exclaimed when I didn't answer, his eyes were worried now, and it was the exact same look he had given me in the hospital when I had been stuck there. "What is it? Tell me!" _How about I show you? _I thought to myself, but managed to take a step away from him, controlling myself. "You're so sad, so confused," He whispered stepping after me. I stopped my eyes wider than ever.

"Jaz," I managed to get out, looking away, I felt myself go even redder in the face. "Jaz," I repeated as I closed my eyes and looked up at him. He was so close, his face closer to mine than ever, our noses almost, but not quite touching.  
"Whatever it is just tell me," Jasper whispered, pushing a strand of loss hair from my eyes as he stayed focused on mine. "I won't be mad, I promise. What's wrong?" I couldn't hold this in any longer, I had held it in for years now and I had to show him. He was going to hate me forever; he was never going to forgive me for this.

"You will be mad," I whispered, taking his hand in mine. He didn't react, that was a good sign, but what I was about to do next was lethal for both of us. "I'm sorry." I stood now on my tiptoes and pressed my warm lips to his ice cold ones. I felt him tense, but then his hands were around my waist, holding me to him, and his lips were moving with mine. I stepped backwards a little, surprised by the power in his kiss, he followed, keeping his hands around my waist, his lips to mine.

Eventually he broke free, pushing me gently away, a Snarl escaping his mouth. But after a few seconds he seemed to be alright. "No Bella, that's enough." He whispered gently, his hands still on my hips, our eyes still locked. That had been the old Jasper, the one that I knew and loved well. Not that I'd ever kissed him before, but I knew that's what it would have been like.

I had only just realised the grip he had around my waist, the power of it. "Jaz," I whispered looking down at where his hands were crushing me, he instantly released them, gently taking my hand instead and leading me to the bed, where he sat me down. He sat down beside me, an arm around my waist still, my head resting on his shoulder.  
"I must be getting better," He whispered, his lips pressing to my head as he kissed me. "That should have been impossible, but because I've always cared about you so much I was able to fight the urge to kill you." I didn't say anything, just sat there, listening to the sound of his tender voice. "Mum had warned me this might happen. After all she has a good sense of when there is love about." He chuckled to him; catching me under the chin with two fingers and making me look at him. "Is this the reason for the mixed feelings over the last few weeks? You've been so...emotional, its unbelievable one person can feel all of that at one time, but you managed it." I grinned a little and nodded; he smiled back and held me to him. "You truly are my saviour Bella."

The rest of the trip went fairly well, but of course Jasper wouldn't come near me again, not after the new set of bruises on my hips and waist. I had woken the next morning unable to move at all, they had been that bad. Jasper blamed himself, like always and got everything I needed while I stayed in bed. He lay beside me, though he wasn't really in the room talking to me, just thinking. I didn't mind, it was nice having him there.

I say the trip went fairly well, that was until the last day when there was a knock at the door. Lily was stood there, even paler than normal, if that was possible. "You must go home, straight away!" She told us, glancing at Jasper and telling him something that I couldn't hear. After she had Jasper grabbed me, ordered Lily to pack our stuff and bring it later and swept down the hotel stairs, me in his arms. Something was wrong...

"Jaz what is it?!" I demanded to know once we were safely buckled in the car, but he didn't answer, just pulled out at breakneck speed and set off. He was completely silent, his eyes angry, but worried at the same time. "Jasper, tell me!" I tried to demand and he sighed a little, gripping the steering wheel so hard that I could hear it creaking. That wasn't a good sign to say the least.

"When we came home, we weren't exactly honest with you," Jasper whispered, his eyes still on the road and not looking at me. What did he mean? Not exactly honest? What had happened? I sat in silence, waiting for more to come, not wanting to interrupt him in any way in case it angered him further. He gave another sigh and turned his head to look at me. "I've put you in terrible danger Bella, I am so sorry." I stared at him open mouthed, my eyes wide, about to ask why when he spoke again. "We returned to Forks for another reason. We're...well no, _I'm_ on the run, from a group of vampires..."

Oh no! Things could not go wrong now! That wasn't fair...


	17. Tears For My Beloved

Jasper would say no more than that, not a single thing, which left me thinking all the worst things possible. A group of vampires were after him? That couldn't be good, could it? It didn't sound good to me and I had a weird feeling that I was right, which would make a change. We sat in complete silence, neither of us talking as he drove at a massive speed towards Forks. It didn't take long to get there and by the time that we were I was a nervous wreck.

I was in his arms and out of the car by the time I'd undone my belt. I didn't resist, it would have been pointless and a waste of my effort, as he was far too strong. The doorway whizzed by as he ran at vampire speed through the door and into the front room, where he set me down beside Esme, who was waiting. I was reeling by this point and on the edge of explosion. "Is anyone going to explain?!" I hissed, almost demanded, my eyes on Jasper, who looked more pained, tortured than I'd ever see him. I instantly softened, getting up and walking over to him. Carefully I put my hand on his cold cheek; in turn he put his hand on top of mine, and then closed his eyes. "Just tell me."

He sighed then, opening his eyes and locking them onto mine, just like before. "Bella I have endangered your life," he whispered, putting his free hand in my free one and squeezing it gently. "If they come for me, which they will, they are sure to either-"

"No it won't come to that!" Esme interrupted, her voice sounded upset and angry. "We'll just leave-"

"We can't keep running from this! They will catch up with us!" Jasper growled, looking over at his mother. The aggressiveness of his tone frightened me more than anything I had ever heard.

What were they on about? I was starting to panic, and Jasper could tell, of course. He sat me on the couch, beside Esme and then sat himself on my other side, winding an arm around my waist and still holding my other hand, trying to calm me as much as possible, but even with his 'talent' it wasn't working. "Bella please, let me explain," Jasper whispered, his mouth close to my ear as Esme took my other hand and Jasper's hand around my waist moved to my bruised hip. "I need you to understand this."

I nodded now, taking a deep breath and looking at him as calmly as I possibly could. He tried to smile, but I could tell it was faked, just for me. That made my heard flutter; he was trying to be as brave as possible for me, as I was in a state, even though I didn't know what was going on. "When we were first turned, I was, well let's say out of control. Not even my mother could take a hold of me, not even Lily, they couldn't do a thing. I was mad and I wanted someone to take it out on."

There was a pause, and then he continued. "And so I ended up in Italy, where I knew the biggest coven on vampires were. You see, we don't have a royal family, but we do have a group of vampires who sort of lead us. They're known at the Volturi. And I caused them a bit of hassle in their home town and so they set out to destroy me. I realised what I had done and the guilt that I felt was unreal and so I ran. I ran and found my family once again who were waiting for me, willing to help me escape. And so I put them in as much danger as you are in."

I didn't ask what he'd done, I didn't want to know, and it could and probably was, very graphic. Instead I stayed silent, my eyes wide as I took everything in all at once. Jasper sighed and out his head in his hands. "And all four of you are going to hate me for this, but it must be done and I'm the only one who can do it." My head jerked up as I heard this, knowing what he was going to say before he even did. Esme beat me to it, she stood angrily, dropping my hand.

"No Jasper, don't be a fool!" She growled at him as he stood as well, looking into his mother's eyes, they were full of guilt and sorrow. "Please, we can stop this, we can fight it together."

"Mum, we can't and you know it. If you stop me then they'll kill you all as well and I need you to take care of Bella for me," Jasper whispered, putting a hand on his mother's shoulder, before pulling her into a hug, which would have cracked most normal people's ribs. If Esme could be crying she would be right now. "I don't want you to die mum; you've done too much for me already and never forget that I love you."

I stood now, disbelief in my eyes and on my face, I knew it was there, because it was in my heart as well. "Jaz, you can't do this," I whispered, my voice cracking under the emotion that was whizzing around my body and head. My Jasper was giving himself up, to some crazy group of vampires who wanted him dead, he just couldn't. Jasper turned to me now, his eyes as sad as mine must have been.

"We only just realised how much we need each other and now it must end," He whispered, wiping a tear off my cheek that had escaped my eye as I shook my head my heart breaking into a million pieces. "We've had only a few days together, when we could have had years."

"Then don't do this!" I gasped, my eyes closing, I knew the answer already, and I didn't need to hear it, though he said it anyway.

"I have to Bella, to save you all. My family and the one person I love most in the world." His mouth was close to my ear, his arms around my waist as he held me to his chest. "Don't cry now Bella, this is just the start of something fantastic, even if something must end first."

He pressed his lips to the top of my head, as I cried into his chest, my heart truly breaking now. "Please Jaz-"I tried again, but he shook his head as I looked up at him.

"I love you Bella, never forget that," Jasper whispered, pressing his lips to mine now, it lasted longer than any of the other kisses that we had shared, and I wanted it to go on forever, but suddenly he was gone, walking for the door.  
"I love you," I called out and he turned, giving me my favourite smile, and then disappeared through the door. No, I couldn't let him go, not like this, it wasn't fair. I ran for the door, but two cold hands grabbed my arms, holding me back. "Esme please!" I begged as she held me to her chest, sobs coming from her as well as she held me close, though she had no tears. "No please! Let me stop him!" She didn't let go.

No, please no!

**This is not the end guys, though the end is near. I am working on two possible endings, one sad and one a happily ever after. I know I am leaning towards one more than the other. I am actually writing a follow up to this as well, so look out for that one. It'll be called "Pathway to Chaos." **

**I'd just like to thank all my faithful reviewers who have really kept my writing this. So thanks a lot! You're all fantastic!**


	18. Fight For What You Love

"Esme please let me go, we have to stop him! Please Esme, let go!" I begged her, struggling with all my might against her ice cold arms, though it had no effect whatsoever, she just held me still, grabbing my wrists. How could this be happening? I had to be dreaming, this must be a nightmare, nothing this bad could happen really, could it? And why was Esme so calm if it was happening, if I was her I'd be screaming my head off and chasing after him. Apparently vampires didn't work that way and she stayed calm-ish, well she was tearlessly sobbing against my hair.

"I can't child," She whispered to me as I struggled still, but eventually went limp in her arms, she let me go then. As soon as she had I made a break for the door, but I knew he'd be long gone by now, even without one of the cars. Esme stood in front of the door, a pained look on her beautiful face; it was heartbreaking to see that, her own son had left to have himself killed. _No, keep that out of your mind_ I though desperately to myself.

There was a laugh from the kitchen, two laughs in fact and Rose and Lily entered now, though both looked worried they were trying to put a brave face on things. When they spotted Esme blocking my path and my red eyes and blotched face, I guess they knew. Rose gave a small cry and Lily gasped, looking around as if looking for Jasper, who wasn't there. Once Esme knew I wasn't going to run as I'd sunk to my knees my head in my hands, she ran to her daughter, who pulled her mother into a hug.

I felt like I was intruding when I looked up at them, it was a family scene and only me as the outcast, watching from the window as some might have put it. I stood up now; ready to go for the door, just to escape to think. But an angered cry from Rose made me stop in my tracks and turn around to face them. "This is _HER_ fault; if she hadn't got involved then none of this would have happened!" I winced at her words, deep down knowing that there was a lot of truth in them and that is was my fault, but Esme growled at her, shaking her head a little.

"Bella is part of this family, we will _NOT_ push her away like that, she had nothing to do with Jasper leaving and you know it." Esme told her firmly, setting a glare on her face as she did. Lily sighed and stepped between the two, she had been silent until now, when she felt she must intervene.  
"Rose, you are just looking for someone to blame and as Bella is the newest one of this family you are naturally blaming her for this," Lily told her calmly, everyone's gaze flickering to me as I looked down, blushing a little.

"Now are we going to go after him or not?" Lily asked looking to Esme now, to save me from any further embarrassment and to save her family, if he was her family that is. "He will have gotten far by now, but we can get to Volturi just after him if we're fast and by fast I mean first flight we can catch." Esme looked rather reluctant at the idea, as Jasper had told her to stay here, but it faded fairly quickly, after all, he was her son. She nodded disappearing upstairs to pack a bag as soon as possible.

Ten minutes later we were all packed into the Volvo, Esme driving, Rose in the front with her and me and Lily in the back. We were all silent as we rushed to the airport. I have to say I was more than a little anxious, my stomach felt like it was tying itself in knots and I wanted to be sick until I'd thrown everything up that I'd eaten, which wasn't much. We had to get there to save Jasper, we just had to. If we didn't, well I didn't even want to think about that, it was unbearable, more than a little in fact.

I was struggling to keep those thoughts from my mind though. What happened if we were too late? Would they kill him? Or would it be a minor punishment for what he had done? Wait, hadn't Jasper said that they set out to destroy him? No, no, no! This could not be happening. Not Jasper, anyone, but Jasper. He was so gentle and kind, so sweet and caring, and he was being taken from the world, from his family, and from me!

No, we couldn't let that happened, we'd get there alright, and stop them from hurting him, or stop him from going to them, one or the other were going to do this. I pushed the doubts to the back of my mind and started top hope beyond anything that we would reach him in time. We _WOULD_ reach him in time, without a doubt, I was sure of it.

By the time were we go to the airport I was so nervous that I was shaking from the effort of keeping myself from throwing up, which was really hard. Esme held my hand gently as we walked at a fast pace through the doors and Lily headed off to the desk. Esme and Rose took me to the cafe, forcing me to eat and drink something before the flight. I didn't like flying as it was and with the fact that Jasper was out there ready to die hanging over me, I felt that little bit worse.

Lily soon joined us sitting at the table and passing Esme four tickets for a plane. They were for half an hour's time, she had managed to flirt her way into getting them, but we would have to run for the plane and so we set off. Rose and Lily ran ahead while Esme took my hand and pulled me along, dodging anyone that might slow us down. I closed my eyes and just ran with her, wishing for myself to wake up, wanting more than anything for this nightmare to end. I wanted to wake up in Jasper's loving arms, his cool lips pressed to my neck. But somehow I knew I was never going to wake up in Jasper's arms again.

Esme shook me gently and my eyes shot open, I was sat in a tiny chair, with lots of other people around me. What had happened? I had been running with them hadn't I? "You were sleeping," She whispered gently as she pushed the hair from my eyes as I yawned sleepily. "I had to wake you because we're nearly there, nearly in Italy." What!?! Wait, I had been asleep that long!? I guess it was best for me on a plane journey, otherwise I would have being sick. I leant across her and looked out of the window, my head spinning as I did, but I forced myself to look down onto Europe, to the land where my beloved was...


	19. Volterra: Enjoy Your Stay! I Think Not

Apparently the Hales had a house not too far from the airport that we landed in, well actually it was Lily's house and so that is where we headed first. I personally thought that this would slow us down, but we needed something to get to Volterra before Jasper, or if not before, then soon after he arrived. They couldn't run, because it was sunny outside and that was likely to cause some hassle is anyone saw that.

When we were at Lily's house, we headed straight for the garage, seeing what we had all feared before hand. Jasper had already been there and one of the cars was missing, one of the faster ones according to Lily. "Just as we thought and feared," Lily whispered, disappearing into the main part of the house. She soon reappeared, jangling a set of keys in her hand; she seemed to be smiling as well, which seemed good to me. "He didn't take the fastest car, which is out the back. My special car that no-one knows about."

"What is it?" Rose asked, the girl who acted so girly that it was unbelievable that she was into cars, but you could tell now that her eyes were lighting up, despite the situation, which made me want to hit her. And I really would have hit her if I could have, but she was like granite. Her brother was out there preparing to kill himself and she was asking about what car we were going to drive to stop him. So like Rose.

"You're going to scream," Lily warned her, obviously already knowing about her obsession with cars, she was smiling. This was not the time for smiling, I decided as we walked towards the back of the house and garden, this was a time for panic and screaming. "It's a Bugatti Veyron." Lily was right, Rose did scream and I know if she could have fainted so would have done. I on the other hand had no idea what a 'Veyron' was and to be honest I didn't care in the slightest, it made no difference to me.

"But there are only two seats?" Rose questioned when she had finally calmed herself down enough to speak, though she still looked excited about the whole thing.  
"I know," Lily sighed, glancing at Esme, who nodded slightly. "That's why only Esme and Bella are going in the Veyron; we're going in something else." What? Why me? I wasn't going to be able to stop him in the slightest. Lily opened up a second garage, which was hidden by some large bushes as Rose looked disappointed not to be going in the super car.

And I have to say it was a super car. It was black and incredibly shiny; obviously she polished this car a lot. It was sleek, but at the same time chunky and it was going to stand out a mile, but it was stunning in the slight light from the garage entrance. Rose looked like she was desperately in love and wasn't going to leave this car, but Lily managed to pull her away, as me and Esme climbed into the car.

I knew Esme was tired of the car talk and she too, like me, thought that we should be getting on with things before it was too late. We were away quickly, Esme swinging the car out of the garage, the tyres squealing loudly before we were off, out of the garden through the wide back gate and onto a smaller road than the one at the front of the house.

I was now nervous again, very nervous and wanted to throw up. My legs were shaking badly, as were my hands, so I clasped them together to stop it showing, this didn't stop my legs shaking though. Esme put a gentle hand on my leg, leaving only one on the steering wheel, her eyes on me for a moment, then back to the road.

My eyes were closed within seconds, just wanting to wake up, but knowing I was never going to, because I wasn't asleep in the first place. I just hoped beyond anything that we would reach Jasper before he did something else foolish. I still had no idea who this Volturi was, I only knew that they lead the rest of the vampires and that was it.

We drove for what seemed like an eternity, and it seemed endless, but finally I felt Esme's hand squeeze my leg and I opened my eyes. We hadn't spoken for the whole journey, but she did now, her voice flat and unhappy as she stared ahead of herself sadly. "That's Volterra," She whispered glancing at me as I took in the large castle city that loomed in the distance, sat on top of a hill. I didn't like the look of it at all. Was it all vampires in there? Or were there humans in this town as well, I should have thought so. "Home to the Volturi," Esme's voice broke my thoughts and I nodded a little.

The car climbed the steep hill with ease and I'd only just noticed how fast Esme was going, not that I cared in the least. The sun was beating down carelessly and I was a little worried about Esme in this, but she seemed fine. There was a little traffic going into the town, and much coming out, but we were soon there and passing through the gates with no hassle whatsoever. As soon as we were Esme parked the car, as close to the castle as she could, in the shadows, but still it was quite a distance from the castle and we were going to have to walk a fair way.

"We have to keep to the shadows, I might attract some attention if I go into the sunlight," Esme told me in a whisper before we left the car. Ah, so there were humans there as well as vampires, well that was comforting, I think. I slid from the car walking close to the buildings and stopping to wait for Esme, who was soon as my side and then passed me, taking my hand and leading me forwards.

She seemed to know exactly where she was going and had no trouble crisscrossing paths and sneaking around the town. We were so close to the castle when Esme stopped that it was unbelievable, we could just walk 100 yards and we'd be there, but something had made her stopped, so I said nothing and just waited in silence, Esme hissed and crouched forwards, I was a little surprised, but then she straightened up. "Hello Jane, Demetri," Esme whispered coolly, looking straight ahead of herself into the shadows. Someone laughed a little and stepped forwards. Whoever it was had a massive cloak on that hid their whole body from the sun.

"Good to see you again Esme," A cool male voice whispered, as another person stepped out as well. I froze behind Esme, we were outnumbered, well she was outnumbered, I was no good anyway.  
"Come to save your son?" A harsh female voice asked, as one of their heads turned a little to focus on me, I gulped a little, my body tense and terrified.

They had Jasper, I was sure of it.


	20. The Smell Of Smoke

**A little note: There is a lack of discription in the drains/castle/Aro bits as we all know about them from New Moon and I didn't really want to copy that, so I just skipped it. Sorry for that. Also I wanted to cry writing this...**

"I suggest you take us to your leaders," A cold voice sounded from behind me and for the first time ever I was glad to hear that Rose was there. Lily seemed to be with them as well as the vampires stepped back a little, not liking the odds against them, three to two. Esme kept a hand on my wrist as I stood watching the scene before me, I could feel someone close behind me, Lily, I was guessed because Rose's voice sounded again, further back. "And I suggest you do that now."

Jane smiled sweetly at her, and then nodded, turning away and heading down the street, but why weren't we going towards the castle? Esme followed, pulling me with her and I just followed, knowing that it would be best to if I didn't want to get hurt. I heard Rose growl something at the male vampire who had taken the rear, his name was Demetri, I think Esme said.

Esme turned a corner and I followed, sticking to the shadows just like she was, even if I didn't have to. But Jane had gone, apparently down the drain, because Esme let go of me and followed the vampire down, Lily then helped me down and Esme caught me hardly and set me down. I rubbed my back a little as Lily landed beside me, and Rose beside her. The male vampire was close behind them and we were off along a dingy drain, which did have a weird smell to it.

It didn't take us long to reach the castle, though I thought it would do after all there was so many twists and turns. But soon we were there and heading to the escalator, where we all got in and waited as it took off up to the top, grinding to a smooth halt, Jane jumped out and walked down the corridor, with us all following her like little dogs. I didn't like the way she was acting, there was something about her that the Hales weren't challenging, even if she did look so innocent and sweet I was guessing she wasn't. She turned again, and opened some big oak doors, that looked too heavy for her to push, but she did it and stepped into the room, us after her. There we were pounced upon by an aged man, with silvery hair and papery skin; no doubt he was a vampire.

"Ah good day my dears," He greeted us warmly as he swept towards us, his eyes dancing and happily. "I know all of you of course, but you, now you must be Bella." He said looking at me with a warm look in his eyes, even warmer than his welcome. "I must say Jasper has told me a lot about you and I am impressed." He looked to Esme now, his eyes shimmering slightly. "She has held all of this very well has she not?" Esme nodded curtly, looking around for her son. Why could I smell smoke?

"How rude of me, I'm Aro," The man introduced, holding a hand out to me, I glanced at Esme who nodded a little softer to me. I stepped forwards and took his hand, which he gripped tightly, not letting me go. "Well I can't seem to read her mind," He said sadly shaking his head a little, and then his warm look returned. "Sorry about that." He released my hand and I stepped back to Esme, my eyes on him the whole time. He took us all if for a moment, while he seemed fixed on us I looked around the room.

There were a number of people in the room; I would bet money they were all vampires. A few were female, but it was mostly men in the room. Jane was stood in the corner alone, her eyes fixed on the family, an evil look on her face, but she said nothing at all, none of them did, except Aro that is. He looked at Esme now, his eyes changing from warm to angry, I didn't like the change and recoiled a little.

"What he did was wrong," He stated quite clearly as I watched, frowning a little, I didn't even know what he had done. Was it just me or was there the smell of smoke? It must have been just me because no-one else had said anything about any smoke and they weren't reacting to it. I stayed silent, watching the proceedings with careful eyes, mostly on Aro because he was the one doing the speaking. "And we can't allow that sort of behaviour here where we live it, could expose us for what we are and that would be a real mess wouldn't it?"

"Where is he?!" Rose demanded, stepping forwards now, her eyes blazing with anger, Aro tried to interrupt her, but she ignored him. "Just tell me where my brother is, you dirty rat!" There was a loud rumbling growl from the corner Jane was in and her gaze switched to Rose, who flew back onto the floor and started writhing in agony, small cries leaving her lips. I gave a small cry of surprise, throwing myself next to her on my knees.

"Stop it!" I screamed as Lily pulled me away from Rose's writhing body and held me tightly to her. I realised what Jane's 'talent' was and she was hurting Rose with it. "Make her stop!" I shouted at Aro, my eyes on Jane the whole time, struggling uselessly against Lily.  
"Jane enough," Aro said in a quiet voice and Rose's writhing and cries stopped as Jane's gaze shifted back to me, it was evil and I could see now that she was the least innocent person alive, well sort of alive, more existing.

"He has been dealt with," Aro answered simply, the smell of smoke was stronger now, I couldn't just be imagining it, it was too strong. Then it hit me and my jaw dropped, my heart stopping and then my heartbeat increased at an alarming speed. Fire was the only thing that hurt vampires, and Aro had just said he'd been dealt with. No it couldn't possible be could it!? Would they do that?! Jasper couldn't be gone? No that wasn't fair! We were too late, they HAD done that and it was Jasper burning that I smelt.

It weas then that my heart broke into a thousand pieces, and then threatened to stop completely as I put a hand to my hand, tear sliding down my cheeks. They had killed me Jasper, taken him away from the things he had loved and the people who had loved him. How was this fair? Oh wait it wasn't. I wanted to scream and cry at the same time, and then I wanted to vomit, but I held it down. Jasper had come here to be killed by these people in order to protect us and yet I still found it sick. They had killed the one I loved!

Both Esme and Rose realised at the same time as me, because Rose screamed furiously, then gave a small sob as Esme just sobbed, sinking to her knees. I didn't know what to do, I just froze my body still and rigid and then I lost it in a room full of vampires. "How could you!?!" I screamed at Aro, running at him and trying to hit any part of him I could, forgetting he was like granite, fury was blinding my regular thoughts and tears were burning my eyes. He caught my wrists and pushed me away from him, his eyes narrowed. "You killed him! You destroyed Jasper! You spiteful evil vampire! You don't deserve to exist! You're an disgust to your kind!" I wept, my eyes narrowing as well as I glared at him.

"Jane calm her," Aro said easily, glancing at the girl, who grinned and stepped forwards. I heard Esme, Lily and Rose freeze behind me and gasp a little and I felt myself freeze, preparing myself for the pain that I was sure to receive in seconds...

**Sorry guys I went for the sad option, I thought it would make it more dramatic, but it's not all as bad as it sounds as you will soon find out in "Pathway to Chaos." Though in that there are so many twists and turns that I don't even know what's going to happen most of the time. XD Thanks for all the reviews and comments guys! **


	21. Memories That Flood Your Mind

**I'd like to start by just addressing a few things before I give you the next instalment of Struggle From Within, and answering some questions that have been asked.**

**I'm just going to say this to all of you who seem to be devastated by Jasper's death, there are going to be many surprises in Pathway To Chaos, so you'll just have to give it a read and see what happens.**

**JasmineSaffronCullen**** – Yes it is the sequel. And I think the bit above should give you an idea of what I plan to do with Jaz.**

**MrandMrsEmbryCall**** – Maybe you're right. Maybe a miracle should occur. –Gives wicked look- You'll have to wait and see, but here is the next chapter.**

**missmaj**** – Again, read above.**

**Twigaloo**** – Exactly right, but read on anyway. =]**

**Diana Holland**** – I'm afraid so, but again read above, it should open your mind a little and get you thinking. XD**

**And so here it is, the second to last chapter, or so I believe it to be and this may well be the last one I do before Christmas. Note as well, the italics are Bella's memories. Now let's sort out the cliff hanging that I left you with, Jane about to attack Bella...**

I braced myself for the pain that was sure to come from Jane's attack, she was looking at me now, her eyes malicious and completely evil, I took a gulp and closed my eyes, just waiting. Grief washed over me then, when I was stood there waiting for what could possibly the end of my life, but somehow I couldn't bring myself to care about that. All that filled my head now was memories of Jasper and me, and then the others were there as well. I felt the warm trickle of tears on my cheeks as I fought to control the memories, but there was no stopping them. They came flooding into my mind, washing away everything that I should have been thinking of. And then reality was gone and I wasn't stood in the cold room of the castle, and I wasn't facing death anymore, or the pain of losing the one I loved. Instead I was five years old and sat on the paving slabs at the back of Hale's original house. It all seemed so real, like I was really there again and the pain of my grazed knee was immensely real.

"_Calm down Bella," A young soothing male's voice said from behind me as I sobbed tearfully over my knee. There was a small amount of blood where I have fallen over while chasing Jasper in the backyard. He had run off to fetch the medical kit, keeping himself calm as well. I cried out as he knelt beside me and brushed against my leg, moving it an inch, but it hurt so much. "Sorry Bell," He whispered gently opening the medical kit. He was just five and he already knew what to do and how to look after me having a friend with a dad who was a doctor was rubbing off. He quickly and carefully got rid of the blood and stuck a plaster on my knee, smiling at me, now that I had stopped crying. "Better?" He asked, packing the plasters away, I nodded silently.  
"Thanks Jaz," I smiled at him now, as I got to my feet, my grazed knee completely forgotten, he got up with me, just as I touched his arm and shouted "TAG!" Before running off, he put the medical kit on the outside table and raced after me, laughing._

_At six years old we started Kindergarten, together, just the three of us. I was so worried about it, that Jasper had held my hand the whole way there, just smiling at me; it was reassuring enough, even if I didn't know that at the time. When we walked into the brightly coloured room, with toys in one corner and a lovely looking lady who was to be our teacher, my fears began to melt away. But for the next week Jasper stayed at my side, never leaving me, even to play with Edward, he made sure I was alright, before he started to settle in himself._

_The scene changed again, we were ten and waiting at the school gates, highest year in elementary school, though we didn't really care. Carlisle was coming to pick us up as it was snowing and Esme always picked Jasper and Rose up. Normally we would have walked, but Carlisle insisted that he would be going that way. Alice, Rose and Emmett usually walked down to our school to be picked up or to meet with us to walk, so they were with us already. I was leant casually against the post near the school gate when a snowball smacked me in the back of the head; I turned slowly, a look of horror on my face as I spotted a laughing Emmett, his hands covered in snow, another one ready to launch. But one smacked him straight in the stomach with a powerful force, he groaned a little, looking over my shoulder, so I turned again, to see Jasper grinning. I grinned back, as I threw a snowball at Edward, just to get him involved. Alice joined in, flitting from both sides, me and Jasper against Edward and Emmett, as she was really in the middle and only did Rose join when Emmett accidently hit her with one and she started throwing them at all of us, unsure of who did it, though Emmett looked guilty as hell. _

_Skipping a fair few years, I was crying out in agony as I was sprawled on a dark, wet road on my back, Jasper and Edward knelt beside me, the glare of someone's headlights was highlighting where we were. "It's alright Bell, help is on the way," Jasper whispered as he nodded to Edward who left us then, he was shaking, I had noticed that. All I can remember was a great pain on my right leg and foot, I was numb everywhere else, I had no idea how I had come to be lying on the road. Jasper pushed the hair from my face, and I felt his hands shaking against me cheeks. "I'll make it all better," He promised me as he looked down at me with soft eyes, though I could see he looked more shocked and shaken than anything and his voice was clearly shaking, he was worried.  
"Make the pain stop," I begged him as he looked pained now, knowing that he couldn't do that, even if he wanted to. He glanced over his shoulder at the sound of a siren and flashing lights.  
"I can't, but help is here, just hang on for me," He told me, taking my hand, both of us were shaking, he was shaking more violently than me. And then there was black, and that's all I remember, but I did him call out in shock and pain. "Bella!"_

_The scene changed and everyone was crowded into a small brightly lit white room, all around one little bed. On which I knew I was lead, my eyes closed, my breathing shallow. Carlisle bustled in then, I seemed to be standing on the outside of this memory, as I didn't remember much about it in the first place, only what Jasper and Edward had told me. "Everyone out, she needs space." I looked at the people leaving for the first time and truly realised how many had been gathered around my bed. Charlie, Alice, Rose, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jacob Black and his father Billy, who I knew little about, for some reason Mike Newton was there, and Renee was yet to arrive with Phil. Everyone except Jasper left, who was refusing point blank to leave my side. After some begging Carlisle eventually gave in and allowed him to stay, but he had to stay out of the way. The memory sped up then and I watched as Jasper moved from place to place, his eyes worried and his face pained as I didn't wake, then Edward joined him, sitting in the corner. But then time slowed again and my eyelids fluttered, he cried out in surprise and he was sat by my side in an instant, leaning over me. I knew this part well enough; I didn't need to see it. I knew I had reached up and hugged him tightly, wincing a little as I did, but not caring in the slightest._

_Fourteen and we were sat outside of the school on the grass; Jasper was helping me with my biology homework, which I was struggling with. Edward was lead beside us looking up at the sky. Jasper leant over me as he pointed at the question and I looked at him through my hair, I felt his warm breath against me as he edged closer, trying to explain, but I wasn't listening, I was content just looking at him."Alright slapper, enjoying yourself there?" My head snapped up to the voice, my eyes narrowing as I spotted someone in the grade above us and two of his little followers, but I just looked down at my books again, ignoring them. I felt Jasper tense beside me. I touched his arm; biting my bottom lip, telling him to leave it, and that is wasn't worth it. "That's right calm __**ONE**__ of your little boyfriends, you silly slag." Jasper jumped to his feet as me and Edward glanced at one another, he had sat up now, he stood slowly, walking to Jasper's side. "Awh look both of them are sticking up for you, whore." Jasper was gone then and not even Edward could stop him as he pounced on the guy, knocking him to the floor, his fists flying into the guy's face. Edward held off the other two, so they didn't get involved, as I cried out to Jasper, who eventually pulled himself off the boy. I was stood there completely horrified at what my best friend had just done, I was unable to move and pull him back, so I just stared.  
"Call her anything like that again and I'll do more than just hit you," He snarled as the boy from the grade above leapt to his feet and scampered off, blood pouring down his face from his nose, lip and above his eye. Edward let go of the other two and they followed their leader. I walked forwards finally remembering how to walk, half annoyed, half scared of Jasper as I placed a careful hand on his arm, and he instantly calmed to my touch and turned to me as I shook my head, my eyes sad. He knew that I was disappointed and angry at him; he pushed my hair from my face sadly as he looked at me. "Sorry Bell, but he insulted you."  
"That was no reason to hurt him," I whispered, though secretly I was pleased he was willing to defend me to that extent, even if it was completely out of order. "You're going to get kicked out for it." At this he merely shrugged, looking nonchalant, though I knew different._

_I was curled against his side, watching the television, his arm slung casually over my shoulders; I could see why everyone thought we were a couple, though it wasn't true in the slightest. The phone rung then and Jasper pulled himself up to answer it, I sat and listened, not really worried, until Jasper came back, his face chalk white and his eyes wide. Instantly I was alert and sat up, before getting up and going to his frozen figure in the doorway. He didn't say anything, just shook his head in complete disbelief, before he managed to pull it together. "Esme and Charlie," he choked and instantly my heart stopped. Charlie and Esme had gone out earlier to the police station because Esme was having some troubles with teens outside her house, so they left us at home, while Alice and Rose shopped and Edward and Emmett played baseball with Carlisle. "That was Rose, there's been a massive accident near the police station, and a cruiser was involved." Tears filled my eyes as I shook my head in utter shock. There were only two cruisers in Forks and one was Charlie's. He and Esme couldn't possible have been hurt could they? Not my father and my mother of sorts, no I couldn't handle that. Instantly Jasper's arms were around my waist as he pulled me towards the couch, sitting down and pulling me onto his lap, where I shook and cried. "Nothing is certain, we can't do anything, and we just have to wait for Alice and Rose to call again." He soothed me as I nodded a little, his hand running through my hair, his lips pressed to the top of my head for a single second. Just then the front door opened and a stunned looking Esme stumbled in, I was off Jasper's lap in an instant and running to the door, just as Charlie entered and I grabbed him hugging him tightly.  
"You heard then kiddo?" He asked as he half hugged me back and I nodded, tears of joy spilling over my cheeks. "Well we weren't involved, we're just shaken." I was so overjoyed and I could see Jasper was as well as he hugged his mother tightly. We then swapped and I hugged Esme, who placed her cheek on the top of my head and whispered gently to me that she was fine and I shouldn't have worried. Of course we both knew that would have never happened._

The memories were gone and I was back to reality, but now I could fully see that Jasper and I had been more than just friends, and it had always been that way. Right from the age of five he had looked after me, even if it had meant he would get into trouble, like with the bully when we were fourteen. And now I could finally see that I was the only one who was blind to the whole thing, everyone else could see our love, even Jasper and yet I had stayed oblivious to it. And then when he had left, the sadness that had filled my heart, I remembered it so well, and yet again I slipped from reality.

_Alice's hand found mine as I stared at the empty house, tears staining my cheeks as I hastily wiped them away and shook my head. "They left without a single goodbye," Alice said nothing to this, she knew not to, I was likely to bite her head off or something similar, she just let me cry and rant. Because I was utterly furious, my heart was torn and I wanted so much to see them again, so I could just scream at them. What they had done was terrible, worse than actually hurting one of us, because they were family and they had just left without saying a thing. "Why would they do that?! I thought they were our friends, I thought we mattered! Apparently not! Because we don't count do we? We're were just friends with them for twelve ye-" I broke off with a sudden sob and Alice hugged me to her, I buried my face against her shoulder. They had truly gone without saying goodbye and I could feel my heart shattering to a thousand pieces, knowing it would never fully recover from this, not throughout all of time, unless they returned, but even then they're betrayal was too much to bare._

_I was sat in the car, looking up at the Hales new house, catching Esme in the corner of my eye, she looked down at me, was there sorrow and guilt there? And then she was gone and we had left, after just a tiny glimpse of the people I once called my family and even then we didn't see them all. The dream that haunted me for ages, the one where Jasper walked soundlessly away from me, without a single word, and then Esme turning up in my room. __"What is she doing here?" Jasper had demanded taking his eyes off me and looking at Esme. I had seen such hate then in his eyes, but most of all I had seen the sorrow in them, I hadn't let that register when I had screamed at him and he told Esme to get me out of the house. Being told that the one I had loved for so many years was a vampire, a monster, something that stalked the darkness was too terrible to learn, even if I was brave about it, it still haunted me. I was stood in their hallway, telling them I was there to help Jasper, even if he didn't know he needed help just yet. I was then pressed against the wall, Jasper leaning towards me, blood pouring from my cut hand, then I was arguing with him, saying hateful things that I wanted to take back as soon as I realised what I had done. Then I was sat on the floor, Jasper helping me with my work, like nothing had happened, he explained everything to me and then placed my hand on his cheek, before leaving again. He attacked me after that, leaving me bruised and battered, but we had overcome that when he visited me in my room. And then finally when we went away together, and I realised how much I needed him and how much I really did care, and the kiss. Just being together those few days, with nothing to get in the way. And then him tearing himself away from me and his family in order to protect us, it wasn't fair._

These were only some of the nearest memories that were whizzing around my head at high speed. I saw them all; they just made my head hurt, and fresh tears fall wordlessly from my eyes. I opened them then, a determined look crossing my face. I was ready for this; I was going to fight it, for my Jasper. And then we were going to get out of there alive, because Jasper was not sacrificing himself for us to just die at the hands of these vampires. I wouldn't allow it, not when I was still around and still fighting. Because she could hurt me, but I was already hurt so much that I knew it would have no affect. Mental damage is so much worse than physical and I was already damaged enough, she could do no more harm to me.

And so I prepared myself, looking directly at Jane, with a set determination in my eyes, this shocked her a little, but she just smiled evilly at me. Nothing happened, I felt no pain like I should have done, there was just nothing. Jane frowned and then obviously tried again, harder this time, her face screwed up in concentration, but still I didn't feel any pain. Maybe I really was so damaged that she couldn't harm me, and nothing was working. I considered this for a moment as Jane looked so furious that she actually stamped her foot and let a growl escape her mouth. Aro just chuckled and raised a hand, as if to calm her. "Calm my child, it is as I thought," He soothed her, though his eyes were intently on me, I stared back, the same determination on my face as before. "This girl cannot be harmed by some of our powers, she is a Shield."

I'm a what now!?


	22. Final Goodbye And Shadows

_  
"These wounds won't seem to heal  
this pain is just too real  
there's just too much that time cannot erase"_

_Evanescence – My Immortal_

I hugged my arms around my legs, the tears all gone as I sat on the bed, no wait _HIS_ bed. I had no tears left to cry with, they had all gone now. But the pain still remained; the dull throbbing pain in my chest, which felt like my heart had been ripped out. One of my hands wandered to the pillow, where I played with the corner, biting my bottom lip. He had lead here, why he had a bed I have no idea, but he had. Jasper was gone for good and he wasn't coming back this time, it wasn't like last time. Last time he had returned to me and we had finally understood the passion we felt for one another, but this time he had gone for good.

It had been three days since we came back from Italy after the run in with the Volturi and I still hadn't moved. Among finding out that Jasper was dead and being attacked by an evil vampire who acted like a child, I found out that I'm a Shield. Not that I though know or care what that is, not at this moment in time at least. After Aro had announced this he had refused to tell me what it was and even Rosalie and Esme hadn't known, though it was clear Lily did.

Esme had come to see me numerous times since I had been up here, but I refused to be coaxed down. I knew it was even harder for her and the fact that I was acting like a little child couldn't have been helping. But saying that she had sobbed tearlessly for nearly a full day in her room, I had heard Lily and Rose talking about it when they passed Jasper's room last night. When she had calmed down a little she had come to speak to me, but I refused to say a word. She gave up on me, until an hour later when she tried again. And then every hour after that.

I just needed to be where there were reminders of Jasper, his scent as well. I was taking it badly and I wanted nothing more than to just follow him and take my own life. I wasn't that stupid though, I had a family to think of, as well as my new adopted family, the Hales. But would they be family for much longer now that Jasper had gone? I hoped I would be able to stay; I didn't want to leave them and return to my real family. That would mean returning to reality.

Aro had ordered us away from Italy telling us we were never to return unless we had a problem. Well not that we care about that, we were glad to get away from that place. All of us had kept it together all the way home, until we came into view of the house. Esme had broken down, sobbing tearlessly and running from the car. Rose and Lily had both followed, leaving me to go in alone. I did, heading straight for his room and sitting on his bed.

And since then I hadn't moved, though I was beginning to think that I should move. It was going to take time to heal the loss of Jasper and even then it would never heal fully. He was my love, my star, my everything. Without him I was just Bella, without him I was nothing and I had nothing. Without Jasper already the world seemed less bright than it had been. At least last time I had hope that he would return with him family, but this time there was nothing.

With a small gasp of shock and pain I jumped off the bed, wanting nothing more than to just get out of there. I had spent far too long in there and it was starting to get to me. Instead I ran into my room, grabbing my suitcases and piling the stuff in. The Hales weren't going to want me here anymore, I was just trouble. Look what had happened to Jasper because of me.

If I hadn't been so determined to help him then he would have never had to run to protect me in the first place. And then he would still be here with his family. That would mean that we would have never understood what we felt, but anything was better than him being dead. Even if we were leagues away at least he would be alright. But no, Bella had to get involved and ruin everything once again. And so now I had to leave before the Hales came back from hunting.

Before I could pack everything I felt two cold hands on my wrists and I looked up, knowing who it was already. Esme. "Please Bella, don't let me lose another child," She whispered her eyes locking onto mine, I knew if she could be crying she would be. I couldn't do this to her, I just couldn't leave her. She was like a second mum to me and I was just going to walk out on her. I gave a small sob and dropped the things in my arms, wrapping them around her for the first time properly since I was about 15 and she had looked after me when I was ill and Charlie was working. "I can't lose another one," I heard her whisper to me, as she returned my hug.

Suddenly I wasn't standing by the cupboard any more, but I was sat on Esme's lap, she was rocking me, her arms around me. "Hush child," She whispered as she hummed gently in my ear. But my tears were refusing to stop and they just came thicker and faster now as I buried my head against her. "Things will get better, I promise they will," Her soft voice told me, though somehow I couldn't bring myself to believe that, no matter how hard I tried. This just didn't look like they were going to improve.

My love and best friend was gone and wasn't coming back. How could things get any worse than that? Oh wait, they couldn't, my life was at an all time low. "How could anything be worse then this," I whispered looking up at her, as she brushed my tears away gently and sighed, taking in everything about my face. I waited for her to speak, but she seemed unable to, I knew that Esme was going to talk to me softly. It had been the same way when I was worried about Jasper after his fight at school; she had sat me like this hugged me and talked to me calmly about it.

"My darling daughter," Esme whispered shaking her head a little. I knew she had always regarded me as a daughter, but I never knew she felt this strongly. "We all lose ones that are close to us, but there is a time that will come when everything will heal and you'll be able to think straight again. Jasper might be gone , but he'll always be here," She put a hand over my heart and then moved it to my head. "And here. He will never be forgotten, no matter how hard we try to."

"We have to move on with things, but of course never leave Jasper behind," Esme gulped a little looking upset for just a second, before her calm smile returned. "Because he wouldn't want this, he would want you happy and out there living you life, that's all he would want."  
"How can I do that without him?" I managed to choke, my eyes blurring from the amount of tears that were leaving them. "How can I go on without him at my side?"

"I know it seems hard Bella, but it will get better, pain can only heal in time," Esme told me, stroking my hair gently with her fingers as she just held me. How could she be so calm about all of this? He was her son and here she was comforting me because I was completely overwhelmed by what had happened. It should have been the other way around, me looking after her. I decided maybe I should voice my questions to her, only the one about her being so calm though, as the others might offend her and I didn't want that at all.

"How are you so calm?" I asked in a whisper pulling myself to look at her, after we'd sat there for what seemed like an age. "How is that even possible?" Esme chuckled a little and set me down on the bed, before walking to the door, without answering. I frowned at her, interested in what was so funny now. She turned and faced me, taking a deep breath as she set herself to explain why she was so calm. There was a smile on her lips, a true Esme smile. I was a little shocked by this and her answer shocked me even more.

"Because I don't think he's dead," She whispered her eyes locking onto mine as my jaw dropped even more. "Just call it motherly instinct. But I believe that Jasper is still out there. He doesn't feel dead to me; it feels like he's still there somewhere." And then she was gone, just like that. After that completely mad answer to my question. I stared open mouthed at the door, shaking my head a little. Esme was off her rocker, of course he was gone. A sob caught in my throat as the memory of Aro telling us came back to me.

My Jasper was dead...

*****

A month ago today, it had already been a month since Jasper Hale was murdered by the Volturi. A month since a pure soul, a loving man and a true friend had been ripped away from the world in order to protect the ones that he loved. A man who would have given his life a hundred times over if it meant that his family and I were safe. That's why we loved him so greatly, with all of our hearts and more, because he was so caring. But he was gone now and like Esme said, we have to move on with our lives, even if it seems impossible.

Esme still believes he's out there, though the other three of us are completely against that idea and know it to be untrue. She stood alone now in the dark, the wind whipping around her as she watched me on the edge of the river by their house. Rose and Lily were stood a little way off, completely silent as I stepped closer, a flower clutched in my right hand.

I allowed my hair to fall over my face as I looked at the bubbling water and felt the flood of memories return again. I chocked back a sob and held the flower above the water, biting my bottom lip a little. "My love, this is goodbye, for the final time. We won't be meeting again, but I wanted you to know-" I paused, forcing back the tears. "I loved you and still do, with all of my heart. Goodbye Jaz." I dropped the red rose into the water and watched it floated away, well until it disappeared into the night. With that I sunk to my knees, my head in my hands as I sobbed. Esme's arm was around me in seconds, comforting me yet again as I sobbed into her shoulder. This was goodbye...

.....

The rose bobbed along the river, the symbol of a final goodbye for someone much loved and cared for. But only a little way down the river it was snatched by a pale white hand, which raised the rose to his nose and sniffed it. Blood red eyes shone from the shadows as he looked up the river to where he knew Bella and the Hales to be stood. "Bella Swan, don't cry. _WE _shall meet without a doubt." A soft voice hissed as the shadow of a person disappeared into the night...

**Sorry guys, but that's the end. –Sniffs- I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. It's been fun and I'm really pleased with it. For a first fanfiction it's not too bad. Oh and I'm going to try and put words of a song, or a famous quote at the start of every chapter for the sequel, something that relates to the content of the chapter at least. Anyway, Pathway To Chaos will be coming as soon as I have the first chapter sorted, which should be soon! Look out for that. Tell you what actually I'll post an author's note on here just to update you on when that's out. Like I said, I hope you enjoyed it and thank you all for the reviews. =]**


	23. Author's Note: It's All Over!

**And so it's finally over, well not quite....**

**The sequel is officially done, well the first chapter at least.**

**I hope you all enjoy it and the twisted plot that comes with it.**

**Because trust me, it's twisted.**

**Also, check out my profile, I have some things I need help with. I would be grateful for some help with those things,  
so PM me with your ideas**

**Thanks again to all of you who reviewed my work on a constant basis.**

**I hope you continue to read and enjoy.**

**Oh, also, I have some news! I have started to write a funny piece with some of my friends. **

**It'll be called A List Of Things That Emmett Should NEVER Do. **

**Well we think it's funny, but then that's just us.**

**Take a look when it's up and tell us what you think. It was just some fun when we were bored at school, you know what it's like :P**


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